crack_van | Dirty Little Secrets by by JustAudrey07 (R)

Fandom: HARRY POTER
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Astoria Greengrass
Length: 200k
Author on LJ: Couldn't find her
Author's Website: FFN
Why this must be read: Not much is known about Astoria Greengrass, except that she eventually marries Draco Malfoy. This story is the cure to all 'who is Astoria?' fics. Audrey breathes life into the character and she is certainly not a Narcissa copycat in this story--not by far. Audrey classifies this story as 'canon compliant with a twist', so you can read it and picture the final scene in DH. The twist is also amazing and is explained really well so you go "well of course that makes sense!". The romance is wonderful and perfectly in character for Draco and also for families that were on the losing side of the war. Audrey also writes some sizzling smut in this, so much that she's been nominated over at

hpfanficfanpoll. This story is long but so well written, you want to give your whole weekend over to reading it. An amazing exercise in quality storytelling and characterisation.

Excerpt

Sighing, he tried to focus on vast scenery before him. An orange harvest moon dominated the black sky, casting an eerie illumination over the ancient skeletal trees that dotted the landscape. A chilly breeze whistled through his blonde locks causing a shiver to run down his spine. He was left feeling desperately alone.

That is until a loud crack and a stream of curses shook him out of his daze. Startled, he turned over the railing to see where the ruckus was stemming from.

"Bloody, useless window!" a dark, raspy voice clamored from his left. To Draco's surprise he saw Astoria, half hanging out the bathroom window, seated backwards on the ledge as she tried to hoist up the rickety pane. After a few more attempts she managed to get the sill to lodge properly, and she pulled herself out gracefully, settling her brown pumps on the ledge. Draco stood hidden in the shadows, slightly shocked and rather amused as he watched her shimmy fearlessly across the thin carvings of the manor's outer walls, scaling an impressive length a good four stories up in the air. It was due to this unique distraction that Draco didn't immediately realize her destination was the very balcony he stood upon.

He took a step back as she stumbled forward, taking a misstep due to the impracticality of her footwear for such an athletic venture. She quickly gained her feet however, and took a moment to dust off her dress before pushing her inky hair off her face.

"Oh," she said bluntly upon espying him for the first time. "What are you doing here?"

Draco cocked an eyebrow at her demanding tone.

"I could ask you the same thing," he responded coolly. She smirked at him.

"I'm escaping, obviously. I was thinking to myself if I had to hear one more sappy baby story I would throw myself out the loo window, when it hit me that that actually wasn't such a bad idea," she explained hurriedly, pushing past Draco and focusing intently on a high hanging potted plant well above their heads.

"Finding Pureblood company a bit dull, are we, Greengrass?" Draco inquired haughtily. An angry and understanding flash flittered across her fierce eyes, and Draco had to keep himself from taking a step back upon feeling their intensity.

"At least I was invited into someone's company," she sneered in reply, before rounding her attention back to the planter. A humorless smirk spread across his face as he watched her ignoring him. She wore a rather outdated, conservative dress. It was a noncommittal light blue, with lace sheen covering the shoulder straps and flowing down to short sleeves, while the skirt layered into ruffles ending just above her knobby knees. A silk ribbon tied itself just below her chest, accentuating her lack of womanly curves. Draco sneered. He hated small breasts. It made a waste of already useless girls.

Astoria backed out from under the planter slowly, still staring at it contemplatively. Curiosity getting the better of him, he found himself looking right along with her. As far as he could tell, it was only a pot of rather neglected begonias.

"What are you looking at?" Draco demanded, annoyed at her antics.

"Why did they have to go and raise it higher?" she asked of no one, grabbing a patio chair so as to reach the plant. Even with outstretched hands she still came up short.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" he asked again. Astoria exhaled irately, crossing her arms and tapping her foot in agitation.

"I am in desperate need of a cigarette," she announced firmly. "But the prat owners of this shabby house have foiled my attempts at gaining such."

Draco furrowed his brow, beginning to think that she was as mad as she was abrasive.

"Why would a hanging plant keep you from a cig?" Draco asked.

"It's not the plant, it's my mother," she said angrily, stomping her foot once again.

"The plant is your mother?" Draco repeated, stepping back a few feet from the barmy woman in front of him.

"No, you idiot!" she snapped, glaring at him with ire before returning her gaze upwards. "My mother is keeping me from cigarettes. She won't allow me with a purse and pats me down before we go to these retched functions so I can't smoke. It's reduced me into having to hide cigs in every house we go to so I can retain some form of sanity."

"You're putting me on," Draco stated, earning him another dirty look.

"Do I seem like the kind of girl who is fond of jokes?" she asked. Draco figured she had a point.

"So your cigarettes are in the planter, and it's out of your reach. Why don't you just Summon them down?"

"Because my lovely mother confiscates our wands before we come to such wonderful meetings," she explained sarcastically. This took Draco by surprise. It was an ancient custom to leave unmarried girls of a certain age wandless at such gatherings. It was believed to be more ladylike. It also made it much easier for men to get a hold of them without struggle. But it was a very outdated practice, one his grandmother's generation fought, and it was fairly unheard of to see it today.

"Mummy trying to make her girls traditional and easy prey, huh?" Draco stated coyly. Astoria shot him another look, before setting her attention on him fully.

"Get them for me," she ordered, pointing her finger at the wand tucked in his jacket pocket.

"Because you've been so pleasant, eh?" Draco asked, enjoying watching the coarse woman struggle in front of him. She bit her lip as though to keep in a scream, but quickly swallowed her outburst.

"Do it," she continued easily, "or else I'll tell my cousin you were out here sulking by yourself. I'm sure Pansy would love to take it upon herself to put an active end to your lonesome solitude."

Draco raised another eyebrow. Who was this girl who talked to him, a Malfoy, with such disrespect? Yet, he couldn't also help but be impressed with her threat. It seemed as though she knew as much about his hated secrets as he did hers.

"Accio cigarettes," he charmed lazily, holding out his arm so the half empty back zoomed into his hands. She snatched them away quickly, spilling one of the long rolls out into her palm. She popped it into to her mouth, happily taking in the mere smell of tobacco. Her green eyes shot back open, staring at Draco expectantly. Draco already had a smirk waiting for her, knowing what she would need next. He held out his own hand expectantly.

Dirty Little Secrets