Deprivation by Actizera (PG)

[rowanfairchild.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing at the rating.

Fandom: OZ
Pairing:  Beecher (implied Beecher/Keller)
Author on LJ:actizera
Author Website: http://actizera.popullus.net
Why this must be read:

Another wrecking ball, this one for Beecher fans. (I try to be equal opportunity about these things. *g*) Actizera gets inside Beecher's head like nobody else, and this story delves so deeply, and so believably into his fragile psyche, post S6, at moments you'll hold your breath while reading it. And... I don't know that I've ever come across a better exploration of what it means to really be haunted by someone. Here's a taste:

"As he inclined his head to take a bite of food, he caught a glimpse of the sleeve of the person next to him. It was the sleeve of a gray sweatshirt, pushed slightly up a forearm. He turned away quickly, but it was too late, and his mind had already filled in the rest of the details: the pale skin that wanted to be olive but never saw the sun, the coarse black hair, the strong muscles, the bones of the wrist, the veins and tendons tracing paths to graceful, powerful fingers. A sharp longing took form in his gut and bloomed outward, spreading until it constricted his throat and he couldn’t swallow the food in his mouth. He waited, breathing deeply through his nose, until the feeling had passed — until he had successfully pushed it into a corner and replaced it with the usual feeling of apathy, reinforced with an instinctive drive toward self-preservation that kept him only as aware of his surroundings as he needed to be. Since returning to Oz after three months in Lardner, it was the only emotional state he could tolerate comfortably."

This unsparing story is bleak and unsettling, but so gorgeously crafted you'll curse Actizera for hurting you, then beg her to do it again.

Deprivation

Comments

[alinewrites.livejournal.com]

So-fucking-good! thanks!