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crack_van2012-09-24 09:37 pm
laceymcbain.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2012-09-24 09:37 pm
Signed, Sealed, Delivered by pyrimidine (G)
Fandom: INCEPTION
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Length: ~9500 words
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pyrimidine
Author Website: pyrimidine's stories on AO3; pyrimidine's masterlist on LJ
Why this must be read: I've read lots of fic inspired by strange things, but I think this was the first (possibly only) one I've read that's based on a commercial. The commercial itself is funny, but the story is ten times funnier. Seriously. This is the kind of story where you make those ridiculous snorting laughs and the ones where you just gasp stupidly for air while barking like a seal.
The premise is simple. Arthur works (with Ariadne and Yusuf) for a company that will (for a fee) handle your messy break-up for you. It's made Arthur pretty much give up on the concept of love and romance, but he happens to live next door to Eames, who slowly works away at Arthur's reluctance to believe in good things. You can read this fic because it's funny, or you can read it because it's also a great story and a delightfully innocent romance that's still believable.
The slogan on the scooter is supposed to say 'No Sad, Big Smile Break-Up Service', but for the past few months it's just been 'Nads', minus all the spaces and missing letters. Some jerk has also scribbled a huge, illustrated penis in Sharpie right next to the so-called slogan, which means that Arthur often gets mistaken for an entirely different kind of mobile service. He's also been pulled over by the cops at least four times, but once he flashes his lanyard-cum-ID-cum-business card, they usually let him go.
Well, except for that one time. Officer Roberts, of WANDA LEE to BENJAMIN ROBERTS, had lapsed into shocked recognition. But Arthur has fast reflexes. He wouldn't be doing this job if he didn't. In any case, he'd already gunned the scooter before Roberts had a chance to reach for his baton, or taser, or maybe even his gun, who knows.
Today he's in the outskirts of the city, in the van that thankfully has all its letters and is even gleaming a little, thanks to some unexpected rainfall the night before. According to the application, Kay and Eisold had been together for eight years, so Arthur prepares himself for tears and/or violence during the drive. Kay went for the 'Dust in the Wind' package, which, along with the standard break-up and rough dictation of any response from the other party, includes a clean-up service that involves returning to the shared residence and removing all the client's belongings for later reclamation at the NSBSBUS office. The initial letter delivery went well, or as well as could be expected, but Arthur has learned that first reactions are not a good indicator for subsequent encounters.
On LJ: Signed, Sealed, Delivered
On AO3: Signed, Sealed, Delivered
If you enjoy the story, remember to feedback the author!
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Length: ~9500 words
Author on LJ:
pyrimidineAuthor Website: pyrimidine's stories on AO3; pyrimidine's masterlist on LJ
Why this must be read: I've read lots of fic inspired by strange things, but I think this was the first (possibly only) one I've read that's based on a commercial. The commercial itself is funny, but the story is ten times funnier. Seriously. This is the kind of story where you make those ridiculous snorting laughs and the ones where you just gasp stupidly for air while barking like a seal.
The premise is simple. Arthur works (with Ariadne and Yusuf) for a company that will (for a fee) handle your messy break-up for you. It's made Arthur pretty much give up on the concept of love and romance, but he happens to live next door to Eames, who slowly works away at Arthur's reluctance to believe in good things. You can read this fic because it's funny, or you can read it because it's also a great story and a delightfully innocent romance that's still believable.
The slogan on the scooter is supposed to say 'No Sad, Big Smile Break-Up Service', but for the past few months it's just been 'Nads', minus all the spaces and missing letters. Some jerk has also scribbled a huge, illustrated penis in Sharpie right next to the so-called slogan, which means that Arthur often gets mistaken for an entirely different kind of mobile service. He's also been pulled over by the cops at least four times, but once he flashes his lanyard-cum-ID-cum-business card, they usually let him go.
Well, except for that one time. Officer Roberts, of WANDA LEE to BENJAMIN ROBERTS, had lapsed into shocked recognition. But Arthur has fast reflexes. He wouldn't be doing this job if he didn't. In any case, he'd already gunned the scooter before Roberts had a chance to reach for his baton, or taser, or maybe even his gun, who knows.
Today he's in the outskirts of the city, in the van that thankfully has all its letters and is even gleaming a little, thanks to some unexpected rainfall the night before. According to the application, Kay and Eisold had been together for eight years, so Arthur prepares himself for tears and/or violence during the drive. Kay went for the 'Dust in the Wind' package, which, along with the standard break-up and rough dictation of any response from the other party, includes a clean-up service that involves returning to the shared residence and removing all the client's belongings for later reclamation at the NSBSBUS office. The initial letter delivery went well, or as well as could be expected, but Arthur has learned that first reactions are not a good indicator for subsequent encounters.
On LJ: Signed, Sealed, Delivered
On AO3: Signed, Sealed, Delivered
If you enjoy the story, remember to feedback the author!
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