Hold Your Heart Into This Darkness by tuesdaysgone (Explicit)

[turlough]

Hi! I'm turlough and I will be your bandom reccer this month. I read almost exclusively in the My Chemical Romance part of the fandom and Gerard is my OTC so you can expect to get a lot of Gerard-centric My Chem recs.

Fandom: BANDOM
Pairing: Frank/Gerard, Gerard/Korse, Mikey/Ray, Dr Death Defying/Show Pony
Length: three stories with a total of 91,640 words
Author on LJ & DW: tuesdaysgone / tuesdaysgone
Author on AO3: tuesdaysgone

Why this must be read: I lack words to convey the impact this story has had on me. It's forever going to be THE Killjoys story for me. One of those milestone stories that will forever determine the way I look at a fandom. It gives us the whole story of the Killjoys, from the beginning in Battery City, through the 'Na Na Na' and 'SING' videos, and on to the suprising and immensely satisfying ending.

I love the way Gerard is written in this. His developmental arch is absolutely fascinating and very believable. His relationship with Korse is intense and complicated and ultimately doomed, his slowly developing relationship with Frank no less intense but so much warmer. The friendship between the four Killjoys and the way they interact with Show Pony and Dr D and the rest of the whole messy, diverse zonerunner culture is another of the hightligts of the story for me.

Something else I love about it is the way it managed to humanise Korse. In fact, I would say that the thing that probably gripped me hardest in the whole story, the thing that broke my heart into tiny little bits, was this enigmatic and terrifying man. His history and struggle and ultimate fate.

I no longer care that we didn't get a third video. The writing in this story is so visual and the take on what BLI is up to exactly as big and breathtaking and terrifying as any "official" version could ever have been. There isn't a false note or a jarring detail anywhere. It's a must read for anyone with even the faintest interest in the Killjoys universe.

Excerpt from the story:

Mr. Baum waved Gerard into a room filled with electronic equipment. "You’re going to be using the equipment in this room to detect, track, and decode visual, auditory, and written codes. One of our staffers, Mr. Anderson, is here to debrief you on how it all works, if you’re unfamiliar. Successful solo operation is also, one could say, part of the test. After Mr. Anderson leaves, you’ll be given two hours. Understood?"

Gerard nodded. A dark-haired man about Gerard’s own age slipped through the partially-open door as Mr. Baum left.

"Hi," Gerard said, "Are you Mr. Anderson? I’m Ger-"

"Hello, Mr. Way," he said. Gerard bit the inside of his lip and sat down in one of the chairs. Mr. Anderson continued, "Are you familiar with any of this equipment?"

Gerard scanned the array of instrumentation in front of him. "Yeah, um, not really any of it," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. Mr. Anderson - shit, he couldn't call someone his own age Mister. Did this division have an aversion to first names? - just looked mildly concerned, pulled a chair closer, and started explaining. Gerard listened intently, Mr. Anderson's voice fading into the intermittent drone of static from several sets of speakers. "Does it make sense?" he asked Gerard after a while, a dark-eyed glance of gentle interest.

"I think so," Gerard mused. He did. The operation wasn't the hard part. Mr. Anderson had rolled his chair aside to let Gerard take the controls, and Gerard flexed his fingers over the keyboard a few times like a - like a piano. He frowned; that was a thought he hadn't had in a long time. Keyboards. Fret boards. Hammers and strings.

Music. He stared for a moment into the flickering tubes of one of the television monitors, the BLI logo flashing erratically in the center of the white screen. He'd almost tuned out the feedback; now he found himself hearing the wavering pitch, humming under his breath - a third, a fifth. Octave. Minor seventh. A half-forgotten language. More than half.

A chair squeaked. Mr. Anderson was leaning back, looking at him with a frown. "Sorry," Gerard breathed. "I was just thinking. I think I can -"

"Are you ready for the test? I'll call Mr. Baum."

Gerard stared at the screens, licked his lips. "Yes. Yes." He nodded a few times. He could do this.

Mr. Anderson handed him a large pair of headphones. "You'll want these. I'll tell Mr. Baum I'm setting up the testing module for you." He disappeared out the door.

"Nice to meet you too," Gerard mumbled under his breath. He reached up and loosened his tie a bit, rolled up his shirt sleeves.

Mr. Baum's voice crackled from a hidden intercom. "You'll have two hours from this point, Mr. Way. We'll measure your success at the end of that two hour period. You will not get any breaks. Ready to go, on your mark."

Gerard ran his hands across the edge of the desk, adjusted his headphones and nodded once more. "Ready!"

The monitors, speakers, and text screens flickered to life all at once, a roaring cacophony of competing sounds. Gerard took a deep breath and reached for the controls.

He was humming under his breath again.

Hold Your Heart Into This Darkness
Individual parts: The Kids from Yesterday & Bulletproof Heart & The Only Hope For Me Is You