Have You Seen Me Lately by Susan (approx NC-17)

[hardboiledbaby]

Fandom: Starsky and Hutch
Pairing: Starsky/Hutch
Length: 2,740 words
Author on LJ: sjames_centre
Author Website: Susan at AO3 and "fiction by susan" at Kassidy's Starsky and Hutch slash fanfiction site
Why this must be read:

"The Fix" is considered by many to be the episode that raised the game, took Starsky and Hutch from being just another cop show to the celebration of "me and thee" partnership that still resonates with fans, both old and new, to this day. It's been the basis for numerous angsty H/C fics, and Susan's Have You Seen Me Lately is one of the best.

In the aftermath of his forced addiction, Hutch feels changed, damaged, and broken. Starsky sticks close, a rock-steady presence that Hutch clings to, even as he despairs of his need for his partner.

His need... and his desire.

They sat on the couch—blanket and pillow discarded on the carpet beside it—and he looked at Starsky in the dim light that seeped through the blinds. His face was bone-weary, with small creases around his eyes that he’d never noticed before. Hutch felt the familiar tightness in his throat and the burn behind his own eyes, but he didn’t cry. Wouldn’t cry.

“You can’t babysit me forever.”

“It’s not babysitting. Think of me more like Mary Poppins.” Starsky smiled. “I’m your spoonful of sugar.”

He felt the warmth of Starsky’s palm against the back of his hand. “How long will you stay?”

Starsky took a long breath. “Until the wind changes.”

He woke in the morning with his head resting on Starsky’s thigh. Starsky slept on, his head thrown back against the couch, his throat naked and exposed in the thin, early light. Hutch pulled himself up slowly, careful not to wake him. They weren’t lovers, no matter how much Hutch had wished for it. But in all these years, there had been no murmured confessions, no embraces in the dark, no touch that promised more than comfort. He watched him sleep, the need for a fix doing a jittery dance in his bones, and added Starsky to the list of things he wanted, but couldn’t have.

The whole fic is similarly gorgeous, but then, Susan's writing always is. The resolution is beautifully done, a healing for both men, but also for us readers. So go read, already :)

Have You Seen Me Lately