crack_van | All Foam, No Beer by Troll Princess (Teen)

Hi, I'm

singingsomethin and I'll be your CrackVan comics driver for September. I've really enjoyed reading the fics recced on this community, so thank you for the chance to contribute. I'm going to mostly rec X-men fics, but I'm going to try to do a weekly rec for fics set in some webcomics too, if that's ok.

Fandom: COMICS - X-Men
Pairing: Incidental Jean/Scott, Rogue/Iceman, Shadowcat/Colossus
Length: ~14,000 words
Author on LJ: Not that I know of
Author website: FanFiction.net
Author's summary: A college friend of Scott's shows up at the mansion, and all hell breaks loose.
Why this must be read:

This is an old one, but it's one of my favorites. I love how Troll Princess manages to paint the characters in a very fond light while simultaneously poking fun at them. It's short, funny, gen, crack-fic, with a fun OC. Plus it contains some elaborate smack-talk that I'd like to work into casual conversation more often.

Excerpt..."Y'could 'ave been prevented for a quarter."

Mick Walton reached up to the old mental chalkboard and scribbled down that particular phrase, right between the "Things Not to Do in a Communal Shower" and "Phrases That Can Get You Arrested for Sexual Harassment" columns. The middle column was for "Things Not to Say to the American Judge Trying You for ... Well, For Anything, Come to Think of It."

It was a short list, really, but one he'd spent his whole life perfecting. For example, it currently contained, "Save yer breat', you'll need it t' blow up yer date," "Hey! Quit hoggin' all the ugly!," and "May the curse o' Mary Malone and 'er nine blind illegitimate children chase y' so far o'er the hills o' Damnation t'at the Lord 'imself can't find y' wit' a telescope." That last one was a wee bit long in the tooth, but it was a favorite of Mick's Irish grandmother, and usually provided a mental image that left him laughing all the way to the jail cell.

All Foam, No Beer