Spic and span, by arrow (esteefee) (Explicit)

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

Fandom: due South
Pairing: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski
Length: 2,559 words
Author on LJ: http://arrow00.livejournal.com/
Author website: http://archiveofourown.org/users/esteefee
Why this must be read:

Let me tell you a cautionary tale about Spic and Span.

You know that awkward moment when you're half idly reading some fanfic on your phone, half paying attention to a conversation with your mother in law about the economic crisis in Spain (I have small children, and if nothing else I can multi-task in two languages like a BOSS), when suddenly the fic you are reading turns out to be scorchingly, brain-meltingly hot?

These are the circumstances under which I discovered this fic. Possibly I should have read the description first, which is "It involves a giant, sparkly blue dildo. And Fraser's ass." But I didn't. I just jumped right in there, and once I'd started I could hardly stop reading and wait for a more appropriate moment, could I? Instead I had to take my jumper off and give thanks for being a girl that there was no outward physical sign of what I'd just read.

So. Read wisely. I make these mistakes so you don't have to.

Comments

[finlaure.livejournal.com]

no outward sign except for the sweat and increased breathe,,, and the fainting. Great rec!

[potentiality-26.livejournal.com]

Easily the most entertaining rec of my life. Thank you!

[hardboiledbaby]

LOL, what potentiality_26 said!

Also, I believe Arrow's LJ is arrow00.

[waltzmatildah.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what the hell happened here (I'm guessing you changed the default colour of the text) but when this came up on my friend's list feed all I could see was the fic header and then blank space and then "It involves a giant, sparkly blue dildo. And Fraser's ass." With a nice contrasting white background to make it stand out even more! Which, I'm guessing, is probably the opposite of what you were intending...?!

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it, and I am not alone in my reactions to it!

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

Well thank you kindly. It helps me to process moments like this if I can entertain people on the internet with them later!

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'll edit to add the LJ.

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

Whoops lol, no, that was not the effect I was going for! Although it's not exactly the opposite of what I was going for either - people need that warning! I didn't mean to hide them!

I'm a bit of an LJ debutante so I have no idea how I made it do that unless it was some indiscriminate copy/pasting. I would offer to try and fix it, but the idea of just the fic header and those words appearing is just too entertaining to spoil.

[esteefee]

oh dear. I hope we haven't irreparably harmed international relations? but thank you kindly for the lovely rec. :D

here via andeincascade.

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

International relations are going strong, don't you worry - if there's one thing a person needs to get through an extended visit from their inlaws while living in a very small flat, it is outstanding porn! Thank YOU kindly for writing it!

[waltzmatildah.livejournal.com]

Haha, yeah, I'd say that you probably changed the default text colour? To something dark? My journal background is dark. Usually, if the text colour is left as default, it'll change accordingly depending on the background of each person. But your text all blends completely into my background. Well, all of it except for "It involves a giant, sparkly blue dildo. And Fraser's ass."

Which, as you say, is very entertaining! I definitely didn't mean for you to change it! It just made me LOL so I thought I'd share :)