This is a story that I tell myself, by Spuffyduds (explicit)

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

Fandom: due South
Characters: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski
Length: 3,147 words
Author on LJ: http://spuffyduds.livejournal.com/
Author on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/spuffyduds
Why this must be read: Because you will never read more perfect angst than this.

It was hard to choose which spuffyduds story to rec, but as I personally am incapable of writing anything other than schmaltzy happy endings (look, it's a coping mechanism, ok? I told you this already) I especially admire writers who can lay on the angst this effectively. And plausibly - if it isn't at least a little bit plausible, it doesn't stay with you, but this one? Whoa, is it ever plausible. Horribly, canon-perfectly plausible. I choose not to believe it because then I might cry - Ray and Fraser sled off into that sunrise and live happily ever after GODDAMMIT la la la I can't hear you if you try to tell me otherwise. But it's so heartbreakingly poignant and in character, and perfectly, brilliantly, insightfully, word-perfectly written (you will not find a heinous string of adjectives like THAT in this fic, that's for damn sure) that I had to share it here. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, OK? DON'T COME CRYING TO ME ABOUT HOW SAD THIS FIC IS.

(oh and I'm only allowed to rec one story but really you should read everything by Spuffyduds. Probably you have done already, but why don't you go and read it again, just to be on the safe side? I mean be honest, were you REALLY going to get anything done this evening anyway if you're here on LJ checking on the crack_van recs? Of course you weren't. And that's what I'm here for, to help you waste time in the best possible way!)

This is a story that I tell myself

Comments

[desireearmfeldt]

really you should read everything by Spuffyduds. Probably you have done already, but why don't you go and read it again, just to be on the safe side?

Amen! :)

(Also: this is arguably the story that turned me from a fic-reader into a fic-writer.)

[barbarianwinter.livejournal.com]

I don't think the story link is working for me... Anyone else?

also does it have happy ending though 'cause i like angst but only if it ends happy

[nic]

Yeah, the link is broken, but Google found it for me:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50288

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

Sorry for the link fail! I see I failed to included an Author on AO3 link either - perhaps I was subconsciously trying to save you the pain? I'm afraid this doesn't have a happy ending, but it's SO GOOD I would still recommend it!

Links added now and here it is just for you http://archiveofourown.org/works/50288

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

Sorry, total link!fail! Fixed now but I'm glad Google knows how to find the fanfic we need.

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

And would you believe, I couldn't see a crack_van rec of any Spuffydud's fic for the past year, so one was well overdue!

That's interesting that you can pinpoint one story that made you start writing - for me I think it was just cumulative effect, or even a non-fandom newspaper article that just made me think wow, that's Ray and Fraser, now I must go away and write a story about it.

[desireearmfeldt]

Well, for me, the first fic I wrote was a direct response/sequel to This Is A Story That I Tell Myself. I'm not sure why I woke up one morning with the urge to write it, but there you are. (Unlike some fic-writers, I already wrote fiction before I read/wrote fanfic; but I'd always thought I had no desire to write fanfic. Turned out that wasn't true.)

[barbarianwinter.livejournal.com]

Thanks! (Would you believe I was so tired googling didn't even cross my mind?)

[barbarianwinter.livejournal.com]

No problem. :) Thanks for letting me know--maybe I'll try it someday, but right now life is stressful enough that I've no interest in really unhappy fiction to go with it (and this pairing is pretty firmly a happy place for me anyway.)

[hazelwho.livejournal.com]

I love you so much as a reccer. =D

[deputychairman.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly! I'm glad to know all the hours of my life I've wasted spent on fanfic are proving to be time well spent when it comes to driving the crack_van!