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crack_van2004-08-14 11:29 am
fbf.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2004-08-14 11:29 am
Black (Ghosts) by Maayan (NC-17)
Fandom: Farscape
Pairing: John/Sikozu, John/Chiana, John/Aeryn, John/Grayza
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_maayan
Author Website: The Janissary
Why this must be read:
First let me say that this is an AU that branches off after What Was Lost: Resurrection, so we are talking possible spoilers up to the beginning of S4. So those of you not wanting to be spoiled for anything don't read. For the rest, read at your own risk.
This is the most painful fic I have every read. It is the benchmark for darkfic* in my book. However, that said, it is also one of the most gloriously written fics that I have ever read. The images it invokes are both painful and beautiful.
They say a man is the sum of his parts, his memories and actions, but what is a man whose memories come and go like the tide and whose actions can only be called cowardice from an outside observer? This is the John we are given, beaten, battered, broken, yet still moving forward because standing still is death and death is want and memory.
In this universe there are no happy endings, just endings that bring relief in their finality. That moment when the flesh stills and you no longer have to feel.
John Crichton has always been the Everyman in the universe that Henson and company created. He is the one we empathize with, we love, we hate, we ultimately understand. We see ourselves reflected in him and he in us. He is the best and worst of humanity confined in flesh. There is no writer better at exploring what that means than Maayan. Her ability to extrapolate actions/emotions based on a given set of circumstance amazes me because they work.
There is a subtle thread that runs through this fic that most don't notice because of the overwhelming hurt that is John. That is the love. I don't mean Aeryn's twisted love that is obsession/memory/fear but the love of Sikozu teaching John language against his skin, of Chiana being an anchor for faulty flesh, of D'Argo being a strength when John had none, of Harvey hugging John tight deep inside trying to shield him from more horrors, even of Scorpius who cared for John with an unexpected tenderness. In these moments we see what John means to others even though he cannot see them himself.
Some might call this fic hopeless and not in character with the John of Farscape universe. I just roll my eyes at those folks. Yes it is dark, and yes I never want to see this John and no the John of the current series would not do this, but if that John experienced the things that this John did, then yes he would and this could be canon. And there is hope in this fic, but not the kind most people associate with John. It is not a bright shiny hope with bunnies and flowers and sunshine and "true love" conquering all. It is a hope that the pain will end someday, that there will no longer be a reason to run, that love won't hurt and flesh won't care. It is the hope of a man who has been dying for years and just kept forgetting he was.
Excerpt:
John counts the marks carved into Winona's grip. Seven cycles since his twin died. Six cycles since Arnessk, since Aeryn brought Scorpius back with her, since Rani was born. Five cycles since Rani died and Aeryn left him again. Less than four cycles since the death of Aeryn's second child, since she came back to him for the third time. Three cycles since he left her. Grayza got her claws on him again a little after that. Two cycles since the Scarrens played fill-in-the-blanks with his brain. He's not sure of the things in between.
John was full of holes long before the Scarrens put his brain through the Cuisinart.
* The term darkfic is often used in a derogatory manner to denote fan fiction where writers torture and hurt the characters, in this case John, for the sole purpose that they can. I am using it as a blanket term to describe fan fiction which explores the crueler side of life and the human psyche, including emotional and physical pain and torture.
Black (Ghosts)
Pairing: John/Sikozu, John/Chiana, John/Aeryn, John/Grayza
Author on LJ:
_maayanAuthor Website: The Janissary
Why this must be read:
First let me say that this is an AU that branches off after What Was Lost: Resurrection, so we are talking possible spoilers up to the beginning of S4. So those of you not wanting to be spoiled for anything don't read. For the rest, read at your own risk.
This is the most painful fic I have every read. It is the benchmark for darkfic* in my book. However, that said, it is also one of the most gloriously written fics that I have ever read. The images it invokes are both painful and beautiful.
They say a man is the sum of his parts, his memories and actions, but what is a man whose memories come and go like the tide and whose actions can only be called cowardice from an outside observer? This is the John we are given, beaten, battered, broken, yet still moving forward because standing still is death and death is want and memory.
In this universe there are no happy endings, just endings that bring relief in their finality. That moment when the flesh stills and you no longer have to feel.
John Crichton has always been the Everyman in the universe that Henson and company created. He is the one we empathize with, we love, we hate, we ultimately understand. We see ourselves reflected in him and he in us. He is the best and worst of humanity confined in flesh. There is no writer better at exploring what that means than Maayan. Her ability to extrapolate actions/emotions based on a given set of circumstance amazes me because they work.
There is a subtle thread that runs through this fic that most don't notice because of the overwhelming hurt that is John. That is the love. I don't mean Aeryn's twisted love that is obsession/memory/fear but the love of Sikozu teaching John language against his skin, of Chiana being an anchor for faulty flesh, of D'Argo being a strength when John had none, of Harvey hugging John tight deep inside trying to shield him from more horrors, even of Scorpius who cared for John with an unexpected tenderness. In these moments we see what John means to others even though he cannot see them himself.
Some might call this fic hopeless and not in character with the John of Farscape universe. I just roll my eyes at those folks. Yes it is dark, and yes I never want to see this John and no the John of the current series would not do this, but if that John experienced the things that this John did, then yes he would and this could be canon. And there is hope in this fic, but not the kind most people associate with John. It is not a bright shiny hope with bunnies and flowers and sunshine and "true love" conquering all. It is a hope that the pain will end someday, that there will no longer be a reason to run, that love won't hurt and flesh won't care. It is the hope of a man who has been dying for years and just kept forgetting he was.
Excerpt:
John counts the marks carved into Winona's grip. Seven cycles since his twin died. Six cycles since Arnessk, since Aeryn brought Scorpius back with her, since Rani was born. Five cycles since Rani died and Aeryn left him again. Less than four cycles since the death of Aeryn's second child, since she came back to him for the third time. Three cycles since he left her. Grayza got her claws on him again a little after that. Two cycles since the Scarrens played fill-in-the-blanks with his brain. He's not sure of the things in between.
John was full of holes long before the Scarrens put his brain through the Cuisinart.
* The term darkfic is often used in a derogatory manner to denote fan fiction where writers torture and hurt the characters, in this case John, for the sole purpose that they can. I am using it as a blanket term to describe fan fiction which explores the crueler side of life and the human psyche, including emotional and physical pain and torture.
Black (Ghosts)