“A Padawan’s Guide to Health, Fitness and Living with Your Master” by Wombat (PG-13)

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

Fandom: STAR WARS: TPM
Pairing: glancing references to Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan
Author on LJ: unknown
Author Website: I believe this is it, but it’s possible this is a different Wombat who also writes SW:TPM fic.
Why this must be read:

In keeping with the old show-biz adage “leave ’em laughing,” I’m closing my stint as a reccer with this humorous metafic, which should come with a spit-take advisory. It takes the form of a pamphlet from BactaCorp that’s both a glossary and a collection of helpful tips, and the author has a lot of fun pointing out various absurdities in both canon and fanon.

Low Self Esteem
(aka "I'm not worthy" syndrome)
The Student Counselling Service recommends that all Padawans repeat the following to themselves several times each morning. "I am an intelligent, confident, highly trained commando-diplomat with a buff, honed body and incredible mind control powers, who has been specially chosen for intensive one to one training by an experienced and powerful warrior. There is NO REASON for me to have an inferiority complex."

Midichlorians
Tiny, parasitic life forms swimming around in your blood that supposedly form your link with the living Force. Nobody knows how they work, why they picked you or how they got there. They're just there. Inside your body. Try not to think about them too much.

In closing, thank you for choosing to travel on the Coruscant Crack Van. I hope you’ve enjoyed your trip.

A Padawan’s Guide to Health, Fitness and Living with Your Master

Comments

[oreouk.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reccing this - I haven't laughed so much in ages!

[dayofjudah.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha. That's a win.