Transport, by Nicole Clevenger (PG13)

[anenko.livejournal.com]

Fandom: FIREFLY
Pairing: None; Mal & Zoe gen
Author on LJ: Unknown
Author’s Website: Incomplete Catharsis
Why this must be read:

Several times this month, I’ve made mention of characters that I’ll read about, even though they don’t necessarily inspire me. What, then, you might be excused for asking, *does* really click with me in the Firefly universe?

I’ve always been fascinated with the war, and what the experience and memory of it means to both Mal and Zoe. This story takes place shortly after the battle of Serenity Valley, and is grim and heartbreakingly plausible.

In the Valley, they'd had no choice but to obey orders and lay down their weapons. He'd been the one to give the final word, in the end. Once those ships had risen dark and deadly above them, once it was clear that the only other way to end things was in their death. They'd been holding the ground until their angels came, but those so-called angels had turned their backs and left them to die. Up until that moment, she believed him when he'd said they could make it through. She'd had to, in order to keep going. She had no words to describe the feeling that settled in her when it came clear that mere belief wouldn't be enough to save them.

She suspected he didn't either. She'd watched his eyes when he gave the order for surrender. Fractured pieces inside a bleeding shell of a body, still walking and breathing but inside nothing but numb. Numb that led them into Alliance custody, barely feeling the cold metal of the handcuffs slapped on their wrists. Numb that buzzed in their ears, making it hard to keep their heads up but a whole lot easier to endure their preliminary processing once on board the transport. Their captors took obvious enjoyment in making the whole thing as debasing as they could, but the numb gave them a place to escape to.

Trouble with numb, though -a person didn't always make it back out.

Transport

Comments

[shyday.livejournal.com]

it's always fascinating to read your own words in an unexpected context - gives them a whole new meaning, a meaning you couldn't really see before that distance. thanks for giving this story back to me in a new light.

shucks. :)

[anenko.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether I provided feedback when you first posted this story, so I'm glad I could give you *something* now, even if it is ever so belated.