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crack_van2004-11-19 05:45 pm
justacat.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2004-11-19 05:45 pm
Entry tags:
Guilt Trip, by Russ (NC-17)
Fandom: THE PROFESSIONALS
Pairing: Bodie/Doyle
Author on LJ: No
Author Website: http://galileo.apo.nmsu.edu/~mcmillan/stories.html
Why this must be read:
This is your basic first-time slash story, but with an interesting twist, one that I haven't encountered before in any fandom. It's a rape story, and of course rape stories aren't all that uncommon in slash - but I can't recall offhand another in which one of the guys is not the victim but the perpetrator of a rape - and not of his partner, or of a bad guy, but of an innocent woman (and it's really not a spoiler to tell you that - this is the whole premise of the story, and it becomes apparent within the first few lines). Guilt Trip is about Ray's attempt to deal with his own guilt and remorse over his actions, to come to terms with his mistake, and how the situation affects his relationship with Bodie and eventually brings them together.
Given the type of guys Bodie and Doyle would have to be to be effective CI5 agents, this actually doesn't strike me as that far-fetched a scenario, but it's fairly original as a premise for fanfic. Russ, whose writing I like very much, handles this somewhat difficult issue effectively and interestingly. While she never glosses over or makes light of it, the story never feels bogged down or maudlin or takes itself too seriously or (what could have been a fatal flaw) turns into a tract about rape either - she strikes a nice balance, and the story is well-paced and engrossing from start to finish . So while it might sound like this could be heavy going and pretty unappealing, it really isn't.
Because after all is said and done, this is a story about Ray, and about Ray and Bodie. The characterization is solid - Ray's feelings and thought processes struck me as fairly authentic, and the author manages to keep the blame where it belongs while preserving our sense of Ray's basic decency and humanity and permitting us to feel some sympathy for him. And while this is mostly Ray's story, and it's told entirely from Ray's (first-person) point of view, she gives us a pretty fascinating glimpse into Bodie - there's a little twist there as well. Their relationship develops in a reasonably believable way, and the intimacy between them is very sweet but in an understated, guy-like way, with a little bit of a hurt/comfort feel, but not over the top.
This is a story that could have been run-of-the-mill, but isn't - it's a great illustration how fanfic can feel fresh and interesting and original while still following familiar patterns and adhering to well-loved fanfic conventions. It's well-written and engrossing, with a nice bit of smut thrown in for good measure. All in all, I found this an enjoyable and satisfying read with enough depth that I've returned to it multiple times.
Guilt Trip
(Written in 1997)
Pairing: Bodie/Doyle
Author on LJ: No
Author Website: http://galileo.apo.nmsu.edu/~mcmillan/stories.html
Why this must be read:
This is your basic first-time slash story, but with an interesting twist, one that I haven't encountered before in any fandom. It's a rape story, and of course rape stories aren't all that uncommon in slash - but I can't recall offhand another in which one of the guys is not the victim but the perpetrator of a rape - and not of his partner, or of a bad guy, but of an innocent woman (and it's really not a spoiler to tell you that - this is the whole premise of the story, and it becomes apparent within the first few lines). Guilt Trip is about Ray's attempt to deal with his own guilt and remorse over his actions, to come to terms with his mistake, and how the situation affects his relationship with Bodie and eventually brings them together.
Given the type of guys Bodie and Doyle would have to be to be effective CI5 agents, this actually doesn't strike me as that far-fetched a scenario, but it's fairly original as a premise for fanfic. Russ, whose writing I like very much, handles this somewhat difficult issue effectively and interestingly. While she never glosses over or makes light of it, the story never feels bogged down or maudlin or takes itself too seriously or (what could have been a fatal flaw) turns into a tract about rape either - she strikes a nice balance, and the story is well-paced and engrossing from start to finish . So while it might sound like this could be heavy going and pretty unappealing, it really isn't.
Because after all is said and done, this is a story about Ray, and about Ray and Bodie. The characterization is solid - Ray's feelings and thought processes struck me as fairly authentic, and the author manages to keep the blame where it belongs while preserving our sense of Ray's basic decency and humanity and permitting us to feel some sympathy for him. And while this is mostly Ray's story, and it's told entirely from Ray's (first-person) point of view, she gives us a pretty fascinating glimpse into Bodie - there's a little twist there as well. Their relationship develops in a reasonably believable way, and the intimacy between them is very sweet but in an understated, guy-like way, with a little bit of a hurt/comfort feel, but not over the top.
This is a story that could have been run-of-the-mill, but isn't - it's a great illustration how fanfic can feel fresh and interesting and original while still following familiar patterns and adhering to well-loved fanfic conventions. It's well-written and engrossing, with a nice bit of smut thrown in for good measure. All in all, I found this an enjoyable and satisfying read with enough depth that I've returned to it multiple times.
Guilt Trip
(Written in 1997)
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In fact, the whole ending - the last scene - made me think. It's an interesting issue with no easy answers - was Ray's approach "right"? There's a bit of ambiguity in the ending. But for me, at least, that wasn't enough to significantly interefere with my overall enjoyment and appreciation of the story. I kind of wish I knew what came next, though - it does leave a little bit hanging.
(I'm trying to talk about this without spoilers - to make this conversation meaningful we should probably chat about it offline; I'd be interested to know more about your views!)
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See, I had no problem whatseover seeing Doyle doing something like this - that was easy for me to accept. In fact, it's almost harder for me to imagine that the violence and madness of their work *wouldn't* affect their real lives. It's not that much different than them getting into a fight after being all wired up on the adrenaline, and we see that often in fic - this is a different manifestation of it, and one that I had no trouble buying into. This is why they need to end up with each other, of course - no one else could understand, and I can see them using each other as safe outlets for all that aggression, made safer by the fact of the trust and love beneath. (I admit I have a bit of a kink for ... not violent, but aggressive B/D sex).
About the ending ... I said to
But then again, on second thoguht it's definitely true that his decision to push Bodie on the sex raises lots of questions ... I can't say that I didn't have my doubts about it. Is this really the right way to heal someone? I think Doyle thought he was doing this to help Bodie - but I see your point that deciding for someone what's in his best interests is a bit manipulative and could backfire. And certainly Bodie's inability to trust is sad - but hopefully the idea is that with time he would *learn* to trust. That would make a good story too ... I would have loved to know the author's thoughts about what would happen next - a sequel would have been very interesting.
Anyway, thanks for your comment - this rec was by far the most controversial of all the ones I've made, and I can definitely see why. I'd love to discuss it more - perhaps I'll post on
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So at this point I still like the stories where they're more emotionally centered, even though, when you think about it, their work would sort of disallow that...maybe. Nothing like being decisive, is there?
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And I especially like this view of them because it makes it all the more essential that they end up together - who else could possibly understand or live with this? Like I said in my earlier post (I think?), they understand, so they could use each other as an outlet for all of it.
(I'm just beginning to draft the B/D
But when I was much more of a newbie, I was given Shoshanna's Never Let Me Down (which I just posted as my last crack_van rec), and I really disliked it - felt all wrong to me; they were too ... I don't know, cold or something. I didn't want to see Bodie resisting Ray, didn't want to see him react in violence and be so uncertain of what he wanted. I Now it's perhaps my very favorite Pros fic of all; certainly among the top few. So it's definitely true that I had to ... evolve? not sure it's an evolution *g* - but at least come gradually to a liking and acceptance of this view of them; even more, to an active desire for fic that explores how they're not emotionally centered, but they manage to find each other nonetheless; they have each other, and so they have a chance at real love that accepts them entirely, all of who and what they are, including the dark.
Of course, there are fics that take it too far ... there's one I'm thinking of, hmmm, M.Fae Glasgow or Shoshanna maybe, in which they both get off on torturing a prisoner ... taking dysfunction to its extreme. Those don't float my boat, yet I also "get" that view of the characters - it's an extreme but not inconsistent view, for me at least; different in degree but not in quality - I understand how you could get there from here, though I don't really want to. I prefer my endings happy, by which I mean the two of them are together and love each other and it looks like it's going to stay that way.
I'm interested in your comment about "heroic" pairs - wondering which other fandoms you mean. B and D have a certain tarnished heroicism for me, but I think that's not really the core of their appeal for me - it's more their damaged aspect, and how they need each other, literally and not, to survive.
Ah, but the great thing about fandom is that there's something for everyone, I always think ... and really, who needs decisiveness? *g* I can buy all sorts of portrayals of B & D if done well, all sorts of characterizations; no need, I feel, to limit myself to a single coherent view. That's part of the fun of fandom - all those different ways of viewing and interpreting the same thing. Some work for me better than others, but bottom line is I can never get enough :-)
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Yes, I can understand that well enough since that does seem to be where I am at the moment...or perhaps a few steps along the road. I can deal with the emotional uncertainty most of the time; there is a certain allure to the idea that only with each other is there hope of salvation. It's the uglier characteristics that are sometimes added to a story I still have a lot of trouble with. Shades of gray is one thing; total darkness, another. And I need to be able to still like them.
Of course, there are fics that take it too far ... there's one I'm thinking of, hmmm, M.Fae Glasgow or Shoshanna maybe, in which they both get off on torturing a prisoner ... taking dysfunction to its extreme. Those don't float my boat, yet I also "get" that view of the characters - it's an extreme but not inconsistent view, for me at least; different in degree but not in quality - I understand how you could get there from here, though I don't really want to. I prefer my endings happy, by which I mean the two of them are together and love each other and it looks like it's going to stay that way.
Exactly. One big attraction for me of slash is the bringing together of two characters I consider equals...preferably to a satisfying and happy conclusion. And maybe because I'm a pretty up-beat person by nature, it's difficult for me to connect with too dark of characters.
I'm interested in your comment about "heroic" pairs - wondering which other fandoms you mean. B and D have a certain tarnished heroicism for me, but I think that's not really the core of their appeal for me - it's more their damaged aspect, and how they need each other, literally and not, to survive.
I'm talking about Kirk and Spock, who by any definition are heroes. That heroism, and maybe hero-worship, is very evident in a lot of the fanfic. Rare are the stories where either are shown as anything but good, upright and, of course, extraordinary men. That's quite a leap to the somewhat damaged, totally earthy, and Earthly, charms of Bodie and Doyle. Yet, I do find both pairs very appealing. Maybe the "heroicism" you spoke of, no matter how tarnished, is too important to me to let go of completely.
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I can deal with the emotional uncertainty most of the time; there is a certain allure to the idea that only with each other is there hope of salvation.
Oh yes, I love that - it's a big part of the attraction for me. I tend to gravitate toward slash pairings in which that sense is very strong.
Shades of gray is one thing; total darkness, another. And I need to be able to still like them.
Definitely. There are some of M. Fae's darker fics that I dislike for this reason - not just because they're dark, but because she makes Bodie and Doyle into characters that I can't make myself like - which is another way of saying she makes them into strangers (to me, at least).
But there are many shades of gray; from those fics to the really light and fluffy ones, O Yardley style, is a long continuum. And I can definitely see how you'd get to where M. Fae does if you continued along that path - it's a not-entirely-implausible progression. It's just that I don't want to get there.
I do, however, find myself enjoying some of the points along the way, where the two of them are basically good and likeable and yet still have some of those uglier characteristics ...
Rare are the stories where either are shown as anything but good, upright and, of course, extraordinary men. That's quite a leap to the somewhat damaged, totally earthy, and Earthly, charms of Bodie and Doyle.
I never really thought about that! My slash fandoms have mostly been cop-buddy shows (Sentinel, Due South, Starsky & Hutch) - and these by my definition tend to be tarnished (to some degree or other) heroes. But still heroes, I think; it's easy for me to see heroicism in what Bodie and Doyle do, and for me the fact that they're flawed and damaged and have uglier aspects to their personalities - that they're human - adds to the heroicism, in a way.
I do have to admit that heroicism per se has never been something I've thought about much - but I suppose the fact that I do gravitate toward cops (or their equivalent) suggests that it's important to me that the characters be heroes of a sort.
And I guess it's different for everyone, whether heroicism matters at all, and if it does, at one point on that continuum the uglier aspects of the characters begin to outweigh the heroic aspects, so the heroic appeal is no longer there....
Hmmm, very interesting stuff!! I've really enjoyed this exchange!
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It's the same for me; if I can't care for the characters, you've lost me. And often the dark has no reason for being other than to allow someone to be helpless and get tortured.
I do, however, find myself enjoying some of the points along the way, where the two of them are basically good and likeable and yet still have some of those uglier characteristics ...
Oh, certainly. Sebastian's work is a prime example. Bodie and Doyle do have their problems, but they're not ones of deficiency.
And I guess it's different for everyone, whether heroicism matters at all, and if it does, at one point on that continuum the uglier aspects of the characters begin to outweigh the heroic aspects, so the heroic appeal is no longer there....
I would suppose the question comes down to, what is heroic? The need to strive is a universal one I would think. What's more beautiful than watching someone do it with grace and courage?
It's hard to believe that it wouldn't matter to everyone, especially in slash. We do seem to pick characters in heroic positions, be they cops, or spies or space explorers. But perhaps that goes back to the male ideal, since they're the ones creating the shows we use. It's their fantasy that we've "twisted" into our own.
Hmmm, very interesting stuff!! I've really enjoyed this exchange!
Me, too!
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their violent and slightly "uncivilized" side - not just uncivilized, but perhaps even borderline psychotic
Can you elaborate on what gives you this impression, particularly in regard to Doyle?
I sometimes think that I'm hampered in my understanding of Pros by the fact that I first saw it as an 11 or 12 year old. However, I don't see Doyle as uncivilised. I can think of quite a few interrogation scenes where he is angry and aggressive, but none that I consider cross the line of what is reasonable in the circumstances (including that scene in The Purging of CI5 where Bodie pulls him off Matheson & King's informer). I generally think of Doyle as compassionate and morally upright (see for example his reaction to Benny's death in Involvement, his deep inner conflict over the events of The Rack, him pointing out that you had to have a better reason than money to do their job in Mixed Doubles, him being willing to try to re-open the Hayden case in When The Heat Cools Off, his concern for June in No Stone and the father in The Madness of Mickey Hamilton, him visiting the mother of a slain agent in ??, his overall belief in the law and the police). I'm away from my eps this weekend, but am sure I could compile a much longer list. You can argue that just doing the job he does can/will lead to a degree of insanity, but it doesn't seem to me that the show gives much concrete evidence of that. Doyle seems to be able to handle it (with Bodie's help, of course!).
However, as I said, my view is no doubt very coloured by the fact that my pre-adolescent mind latched onto Doyle as being the very image of the ideal man!!
I'd be really interested in what particular scenes you think point towards an uncivilised/psychotic interpretation.
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But to answer your question more precisely (or as precisely as I can without an absolute command of the episodes): actually I think the best illustration of the types of scenes that color my perspective is the Morgan Dawn vid True Colors (if you haven't seen it, drop me an email). At the risk of telling you something you already know, it's to Cyndi Lauper's kind of sappy song "True Colors," and it starts out sappy, seeming like yet another vid/story about Ray's internal conflict, guilt over the violence he has to inflict. And then this verse:
But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
And to that verse are scenes of Ray beating people up, basically; threatening and being generally violent. I can't remember all the scenes - the one from the episode with Benny, where he's bending the guy back over the railing and Bodie has to stop him; the one where he's got an armlock over the guy that Cowley's threatening with heroin addiction; and various other similar scenes.
And in those scenes, Doyle comes across, to me at least, as filled with simmering, suppressed violence. I think also of the scene in the Greek diner where he's throwing plates, and the scene in ... hmmm, not Ojuka, but whatever ep it is where he and Bodie are walking in a doorway, Ray takes a guy out and Bodie says "that one was mine!" and Ray says no, but that one is, as Bodie knees the next bad guy (or I might have the order reversed). And in Heroes Doyle always strikes me as particularly violent, especially the way he goes after Huntley about Tin Can.
The thing is, when Ray fights he strikes *me* as particularly dangerous, and though he's always controlled, I have the sense of him being *barely* controlled. There's often an air of menace and violence about him.
And this is where my own extrapolation comes in - it strikes me, watching what the CI5 guys do, that they'd have to be a bit ... on the edge, maybe. They have to be violent in order to stop the violence. And so the line between them and the bad guys, it seems to me, sometimes has to be pretty thin; I've always thought they're probably the type of guys who, if one little thing had been different, would *be* the bad guys. It seems to me that you'd have to be a little ... well, not entirely sane/civilized/whatever, maybe, to have the capacity for that kind of violence, even if in the service of good.
[Comment too long - continued in next comment! Not that I'm verbose or anything!]
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I didn't mean to give the impression that I find them "uncivilized" the same way the bad guys are "uncivilized." I do see Doyle's compassion and moral sense - that's what distinguishes him from the bad guys. And admittedly, there are many many eps in which Doyle acts completely "normal" - this is where my own preconceptions (or preferred conceptions) come into it, the assumptions I just described above about what CI5 agents "must" be like (because I like imagining them that way, so that they pretty much have to turn to each other - no one else could possibly "get" them, be enough for them, understand them, accept the violent and "less civilized" side).
But I also think there *are* many occasions in which we see that very slightly "unbalanced" - or at least dangerous, not-quite-like-"normal"-people aspect. Even in the way Ray slams down his gun and ID in Involvement - a sense of barely-leashed violence, of simmering tension.
I'm not sure I've expressed myself well here at all, or that I've managed to provide any canonical support for my perceptions, anything other than my inferences/assumptions, which are influenced by my proclivities (I *like* that view of them, which is why I have a hard time with Pros "curtain-fic," or with the sweetness of, say, O Yardley - to me it doesn't do justice to or adequately acknowledge their darker sides, which enable them to do this job). I will have to keep your questions in mind as I continue to re-watch eps, because they are good ones. I'm also in the process of beginning to think about the B/D
So thanks for commenting, and I'd love to talk about it more - and feel free to tell me you think I'm full of it! :-D
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whatever ep it is where he and Bodie are walking in a doorway, Ray takes a guy out and Bodie says "that one was mine!" and Ray says no, but that one is
That's in The Untouchables, the one with Rahad and the high-class prostitute.
It seems to me that you'd have to be a little ... well, not entirely sane/civilized/whatever, maybe, to have the capacity for that kind of violence, even if in the service of good.
You're probably right about this (though I'm not sure I want you to be right!). *clutches cherished childhood illusions to her breast*
a sense of barely-leashed violence, of simmering tension.
Now here I'd agree with you completely, and it's what I find so attractive about him. He definitely has a very hard side, great capacity for violence and a certain enjoyment of his own ability to defend himself and attack where necessary. However, I think he's deeply committed to staying on the right side of the line. I find this combination - the ability to do vast damage, but the choice not to - extremely attractive. It's what draws me to most of my favourite fandom characters.
I loathe stories like "Technique" in Pæan to Priapus VI (on the Oblique site) - the one where Doyle uses a knife to convince a suspect to talk, in the process cutting Bodie, and they both get very aroused by it. I can see where the author is coming from, but it's not where I want these characters to go - and I think there's plenty of justification in canon for saying they *wouldn't* go there.
You've got me thinking about the different ways I react to characters I knew pre-slash, and characters I've met only because of slash. I'm sad in some ways that I'll never again get to make that initial jump in my own mind from canon to "there's something more going on here" (like you were describing in your journal the other day about those books you loved while growing up). Once you're in fandom, you're pretty thoroughly programmed to see the slash, perhaps even before you completely digest what's actually on the screen.
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You're probably right about this (though I'm not sure I want you to be right!).
It's so interesting that you say this ... for you that view threatens cherished childhood illusions, whereas for me it's part of the fundamental appeal of the show. I love hearing about what makes a show, and a pairing, "work" for different people - I love getting new insights, other ways of viewing it (I'm going to post on safehouse soon asking just that question, in preparation for drafting
However, I think he's deeply committed to staying on the right side of the line. I find this combination - the ability to do vast damage, but the choice not to - extremely attractive. It's what draws me to most of my favourite fandom characters.
Oh, most definitely. But I also like the sense that it's sometimes a struggle - he's committed to staying on the right side, but given the nature of his life/job, the kind of life he leads, it's not always easy, and he sometimes has to actively resist the "dark side" - and that's where Bodie comes in; I love the idea that they help keep each other on the right side of that line, precisely because they both live so close to it and have, perhaps, come dangerously close to slipping over at times, been tempted to take the "easy" way ....
I find "Technique" extremely disturbing - it's M.Fae at her most extreme (I can't think of any that are more extreme, though I haven't read all of them; it's close at least). I think she was loving the characters less by that point, and it shows. But the thing is, even though that's not my preferred view of the characters, I can see how she got there - in her Doyle I can see just enough of the Doyle I saw on screen to make it a - scarily - plausible, if not likely, characterization (that's what I think M.Fae is so good at, and it's why, I think, her stories are so powerful and disturbing - she certainly knew her canon). I do think there's ample justification in canon for saying they wouldn't go there - but I also think you could come up with an opposing argument.
Someone just wrote this in an email to me:
"'Canon' is not a high art - and what *is* canon anyway? It's stuff like 'Bodie is an ex-merc', sure. But whether Bodie has bouts of schizophrenia or whether Doyle weeps a lot we *don't know*. It can seem doubtful when you've seen several eps, yes.... What if Doyle's tears in Klansmen are the start of a battle with depression that he keeps at bay for a while? I doubt that CI5 would hire weepy depressives, but what if he *did* have such tendencies? "
All these canon discussions have made me think carefully before saying something is OOC - sometimes stories really are, but a good writer can take elements from the show and end up with all sorts of potentially valid characterizations. But even if it's not OOC, the thing is, as you say, that I don't want the characters to go there (where they do in Technique, I mean).
It's interesting to me that I have a higher tolerance than you (it seems) for stories that explore the darker sides of the characters - but only so long as the ending is "happy"; I have a much lower tolerance for ambiguity or darkness in the ending, or in their relationship ....
I thought your last paragraph was very interesting ... when I read those books the idea of "slash" in a sexual sense had honestly never occurred to me - I wouldn't have been shocked by it, but I never would have gone there on my own. It was just an intense, way-more-than-platonic relationship between men. Now I couldn't read it without thinking "slash!" Finding fandom/slash has definitely altered my world-view and the preconceptions I take to the source ... it's difficult even to remember how I felt before.
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Oh, I meant also to say, but forgot, that Tommy McKay is a good example of the not-entirely-sane aspect - of getting perhaps a little too close to the line. Perhaps because he didn't have a partner ... *g*
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This is how I am with DS.
"'Canon' is not a high art...what if he *did* have such tendencies? "
As I said in one of our other threads, what it comes down to for me is that I prefer to read stories that stick closely to what we saw on the screen. I *like* what we saw on the screen - that's why I'm a fan, why I'm interested in reading more about them. I'm just not all that interested in exploring what possibilities you could get to with "six degrees of separation" extrapolations. One or two degrees, maybe! Any more and the story leaves the realm of fanfiction for me and goes over into some broader category of "fiction".
It's interesting to me that I have a higher tolerance than you (it seems) for stories that explore the darker sides of the characters - but only so long as the ending is "happy"; I have a much lower tolerance for ambiguity or darkness in the ending, or in their relationship ....
Yes, it is interesting. How about this: I am perhaps more interested in who the characters are individually, and you give more weight to the success of the relationship. I can deal with the failure of the relationship if I like who the characters are and see them as being true to themselves individually. However, I don't want anything to do with characters I can't like and admire, no matter how strong their relationship is or how much support they give each other. I can relate to what
(This isn't to say that I'm not interested in the relationship - I'm a slasher! If I had to choose, though, I'd take individual self-fulfillment over romance.)
Tommy McKay is an excellent example of crossing the line! I might go watch that ep again. Maybe it is there to illustrate exactly your point about how easy it would be for B&D to also end up on the wrong side.
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I thought about this all weekend, and I think you're exactly right! It's all a matter of degree, of course - as you say, you are interested in the relationship, and similarly, I definitely need to like the individual characters - that's why I don't like Technique (though I find it oddly, and disturbingly, compelling; she's a very effective writer!). And I was re-reading M.Fae's Snowbound last night and realizing how much I didn't like Bodie in that story (or Doyle, for that matter, though my reaction to him is less negative, perhaps) - even the *happy* ending version - so though it ends "happily," I suppose, from a relationship perspective (actually, the not-so-happy ending version also could be viewed as having a happy ending - Ray *seems* happy with the relationship, though I wasn't!), I still don't like it much.
But bottom line: if I had to choose I'd take "romance" - or perhaps relationship fulfillment (self-fulfillment through the relationship? That's not all of it, though) rather than individual self-fulfillment. When I say I have a low tolerance for ambiguity and darkness in the ending, I'm referring, as you correctly inferred, to the state of the relationship - though it doesn't have to be utopic, I do need to believe at the end that they are together, and will remain together; that though all the problems may not be solved, they're together now, for good; it's not perfect by any means, but it is "meant to be."
Anyway, great insight - I love the way you phrased it!
And as for Tommy McKay, the interesting thing about him is that he seems to have crossed the line of, well, maybe sanity is the best word, but he hasn't really yet become one of the bad guys - but he could; the distinction between them and him has become really difficult to see. That internal discipline or constraint or moral compass or whatever that keeps Bodie and Doyle on the side of the angels is missing - he really is a bit psychotic. He's still working for the good guys, but it's no longer clear to see why, or easy to believe that there's anything internal operating to keep him on that side, if that makes sense.
It does reinforce my preferred view - back to relationships again - that Bodie and Doyle help to keep each other on the right side of the line - they have their internal constraints, plus they have each other, and that has to make a difference. As