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crack_van2004-11-27 04:07 pm
maverick4oz.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2004-11-27 04:07 pm
Emptiness by CatHeights (NC-17)
Fandom: OZ
Pairing: Beecher/Keller
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cheights
Author Website: CatHeight’s Lair
Why this must be read:
Going back through old favorites to narrow down the stories I wanted to rec this month, I was stuck by how prophetic many of them turned out to be. Emptiness is one of those stories. In it, Cat tackles this apt metaphor of Keller being another form of addiction for Beecher. But the difference in Cat’s story and how the show ended is that Cat understands and illuminates the love that is at the core, the love the fuels everything between these two characters. As with many of Cat’s stories, it is hard to read because it’s full of heartache and despair because no one, NO ONE does angst quite like Cat. But again as with all of Cat’s stories, the payoff is *always* worth the pain it takes to get there.
Cat’s beautiful prose can sell the story so much better than I can, so read and let Cat break your heart for the first time or all over again.
Of all his addictions, this one he had for Chris was the strongest. And surely it was an addiction. Nothing could get that man out of his mind, his blood. It would be this addiction that would either kill him or save him from his own self-destruction. He had always felt a hollowness within him, a desolation that on the outside he had kept at bay with alcohol. In Oz, that emptiness had grown and neither alcohol nor heroin had been able to rein it in and keep the madness away.
Sometimes with Chris, though, it had felt like that emptiness had just disappeared. Chris had the power to fill that void that lurked within him, but he also had the power to split the chasm wide open so that Toby could feel that emptiness reaching out to embrace him again. He hated Chris for having that power over him, and he loved him for that same reason, but even more than that, he needed Chris. He needed Chris like he had never needed anything else in his life. It didn't matter if they were fighting or fucking, as long as Chris was near, his attention focused on Toby.
Withdrawal from a drug, any drug, was brutal, but if you could get through it, there was a possibility of breaking that addiction. Toby knew that from experience, but withdrawal from Chris Keller — that was a death sentence. There was no moment where it got easier, eventually he had to break and do something, anything, to gain Chris's attention. He had to let Chris know that whether you want me or not, I'm still here. Notice me, damn it.
Emptiness
If you like the story, please let the author know. Remember this is Oz, so don’t make me shank you.
Pairing: Beecher/Keller
Author on LJ:
cheightsAuthor Website: CatHeight’s Lair
Why this must be read:
Going back through old favorites to narrow down the stories I wanted to rec this month, I was stuck by how prophetic many of them turned out to be. Emptiness is one of those stories. In it, Cat tackles this apt metaphor of Keller being another form of addiction for Beecher. But the difference in Cat’s story and how the show ended is that Cat understands and illuminates the love that is at the core, the love the fuels everything between these two characters. As with many of Cat’s stories, it is hard to read because it’s full of heartache and despair because no one, NO ONE does angst quite like Cat. But again as with all of Cat’s stories, the payoff is *always* worth the pain it takes to get there.
Cat’s beautiful prose can sell the story so much better than I can, so read and let Cat break your heart for the first time or all over again.
Of all his addictions, this one he had for Chris was the strongest. And surely it was an addiction. Nothing could get that man out of his mind, his blood. It would be this addiction that would either kill him or save him from his own self-destruction. He had always felt a hollowness within him, a desolation that on the outside he had kept at bay with alcohol. In Oz, that emptiness had grown and neither alcohol nor heroin had been able to rein it in and keep the madness away.
Sometimes with Chris, though, it had felt like that emptiness had just disappeared. Chris had the power to fill that void that lurked within him, but he also had the power to split the chasm wide open so that Toby could feel that emptiness reaching out to embrace him again. He hated Chris for having that power over him, and he loved him for that same reason, but even more than that, he needed Chris. He needed Chris like he had never needed anything else in his life. It didn't matter if they were fighting or fucking, as long as Chris was near, his attention focused on Toby.
Withdrawal from a drug, any drug, was brutal, but if you could get through it, there was a possibility of breaking that addiction. Toby knew that from experience, but withdrawal from Chris Keller — that was a death sentence. There was no moment where it got easier, eventually he had to break and do something, anything, to gain Chris's attention. He had to let Chris know that whether you want me or not, I'm still here. Notice me, damn it.
Emptiness
If you like the story, please let the author know. Remember this is Oz, so don’t make me shank you.