crack_van | Them Mean Ol', Low-Down, Lando Calrissian Blues by Yahtzee (PG)

Fandom: The West Wing/Angel/Smallville/X-Files
Pairing: none
Author on LJ:yahtzee63
Author Website: Chivalry Is Dead
Why this must be read:

Possibly the funniest crossover of all-time. Yahtzee takes Gunn from Angel and Pete from Smallville and sets them down in the Bartlet White House, where they commiserate with Charlie Young on the lack of screentime from which they all suffer due to their status as Angry Young Black Men (though Pete isn’t quite sure if he’s angry or not). Throw in Assistant Director Kersch from X-Files and the fact that ~~Crackpot~~ Big Block of Cheese Day is really a cover for the government’s clandestine investigations into the paranormal, and you’ve got a rollicking good read. Seriously, laugh out loud, sidesplitting, thigh slapping, the whole nine yards.

Quotage:
Toby, C.J., Josh and Sam all stared at Leo. All of them were gaping, struggling for words, utterly failing to find them. Finally, Toby managed to say, "Okay, on the off chance that I've misheard you, that perhaps there is a merciful God and my cold medication is just creating auditory hallucinations, let me repeat -- You're saying that Crackpots Day is only a cover for the clandestine supernatural and paranormal activities of the government?" Leo nodded. Toby sighed. "Not the DayQuil, then. Well, that's -- something."

"This is insane," C.J. said.

"This is unreal," Sam said.

"This is so COOL," Josh said. "Is this where I get to ask about what really went down at Roswell? I've been dying to ask that since day one."

"Josh, you NEVER ask about Roswell," Leo said sternly. Josh's face fell. "Crackpots Day is when we let the -- more extreme elements of the body politic come in and plead their cases. But it's also the day we're able to meet with people, deal with projects, that we can never publicly admit we're involved with. Normally, the president, Vice-President Hoynes and I handle all of these. But we have several important cases in today, and we need you guys to sit in."

and

"Can I ask about Atlantis?" Josh said. "I know it sounds way out there, but Plato seemed so sure --"

President Bartlet said sternly, "You NEVER ask about Atlantis."

Josh's face fell, until Angel looked over at him and mouthed, "Later."

Leo said, "What about Nixon?"

"He petitioned the Underlords of Quellenox for membership once," Angel said. "But he was refused. Not evil enough."

"Those guys are way picky," Cordelia said. "I mean, they turned down Leona Helmsley, too. And you'd think she'd make it if anyone would."

"I can respect high standards," President Bartlet said. "Even in a demonic legion. Now, tell me: Is there ANY explanation for how Strom Thurmond's hung on this long?"

Angel paused, then said, "This goes no further than this room --"

"Of course not," Leo said. Even Cordelia and Wesley looked intrigued.

Angel said, "Have you ever heard the phrase -- 'There can be only one?'"

Read and laugh.

Them Mean Ol', Low-Down, Lando Calrissian Blues

Them Mean Ol', Low-Down, Lando Calrissian Blues by Yahtzee (PG)

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