Smallville Overview

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

"Clark Kent and Lex Luthor...I like the sound of that." - Clark, in the episode Red
Major Characters
	Clark Jerome Kent, AKA The Pretty, played by Tom Welling. Clark is a teenage farmboy who knows that, no matter how normal he looks (actually, not all, but I digress…), he's really very, very different. And it's when he meets Lex Luthor that he finally realizes how different he is… Gayest. Show. Ever. Despite the incredibly homoerotic set-up, the well-established use of comic book superheroes as fodder for gender/queer studies explorations of difference, and the fact that Tom Welling is prettier than most girls, we are expected to accept that Clark Kent is in love with Lana Lang, his soulmate, with whom he is ment2B, even though he has chemistry with Lex instead. After saving Lex from drowning, Clark proclaims him to be his new "best friend." No matter what his friends and family say against Lex, Clark is willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Eventually, he comes to depend upon Lex for all matters legal and financial, as well as for the use of his really cool cars.
	Alexander Joseph Luthor, AKA The Sexy, played by Michael Rosenbaum. Bald, wealthy, ambitious, and…evil? As his father says—and it's not meant as a compliment—he's very emotional. Probably the most emotional character on the show, despite Lana's constant tears. Bad dad, dead mommy, and the only brother he knew about is dead, too. Recently-discovered half-brother doesn't love him, either, except maybe in the naked way. People in Smallville hate Lex because they hate his father—great example of Heartland values, eh? He becomes extremely involved in his friend Clark's romantic life, always encouraging Clark to date various girls and even supplying the means for making the dates extra-special. Lex has quotes, historical factoids and pithy examples for every occasion. Just don't have him pronounce anything French ::shudders::. He's not gay—that's just the way he walks. He's been married twice in less than a year in order to prove how much he likes girls. He wears a lot of purple. Despite being trained in hand-to-hand combat by a Navy Seal, he gets his ass kicked hard and often, usually resulting in a head injury. He is also frequently tied (or taped!!!) up. He has sexual chemistry with everything and everyone, including his father and long-lost brother—except, however, for two of his three onscreen canon love interests.
	Lana Lang, AKA Blahna, Pink Power Ranger, Completely Thankless Role Even for a Good Actress, played by Kristin Kreuk Perfect. She manages to be a good student while running her own coffee shop, caring for her horses, and making frequent (if not nightly!) visits to her parents' graves for a chat. Despite appearing to be of Asian ancestry, she is related to relentlessly Caucasian people—another of the meteor mutant mysteries of Smallville, no doubt. Fanon says she is a Pink Peril, a selfish cock-blocker keeping the onscreen CLex from bursting into flame. Bitch. There are a number of fanfic authors who attempt to give Lana some likable characteristics and these efforts are received variably.
	Chloe Sullivan, AKA Chloe Sue, played by Allison Mack S1 Chloe is spunky, punky, curious, and ambitious. She's the editor (despite being a freshman) of the school paper, The Torch. S1 Chloe, with her flippy hair and colorful clothes, is the sort of quirky, slightly geeky, smart female that many of the adult women in the viewing audience relate to. That Clark seems to think of her as just another guy and/or his own personal search engine, is taken personally by many fans. In S2, Chloe is a bitter shrew, a woman scorned. Although she's the one who tells Clark that they should just be friends, she is obviously unhappy when he agrees with her and goes back to chasing Lana. Unfortunately, every guy who actually likes her turns out to be a murderous freak. At the end of S2, she willingly joins forces with Lionel Luthor—providing information on Clark in exchange for a column at The Daily Planet.
	Martha Kent, played by Annette O'Toole. She's the best mommy ever! She bakes! She has a nice rack! And not only that, but she is just thrilled about her gay son and his pretty bald life partner! Either that, or—if you believe some authors—she's after that sexy bald boy herself, or perhaps his hirsute father. She had always wanted a child and wasn't able to have one, so she was thrilled when Clark fell almost literally into her lap. Then, at the middle of S2, she became pregnant, only to lose the baby at the end. The loss of the child provoked Clark into leaving Smallville to go raise hell in Metropolis.
	Jonathan Kent, AKA Bo Kent, played by John Schneider. Platitude-spewing salt-of-the-earth farmer. He's strict and rigid and tries very hard to do the right thing but often comes off as a complete asshat. He and Martha asked for Lionel Luthor's help to fake Clark's adoption, and in exchange he gave Lionel an "in" with the citizens of Smallville. He takes his guilt about letting the Luthors into Smallville out on poor Lex. He liked Whitney and likes Pete despite the fact that one strung his son up like a scarecrow and the other treats him like a big alien toy.
	Lionel Luthor, AKA the Magnificent Bastard (or the MB), played by John Glover. I believe that MB was coined by Omar over on TWoP, or by board posters over there. In any case, the nickname has stuck, and it's true. He's the worst dad ever. He likes to throw Lex to the sharks, both figuratively and literally. And he's handsy with his sons.
	oh yeah. Pete Ross. AKA, Product-Placement Pete, played by Sam Jones III. He is Clark's "best friend," but fickle Clark has a lot of these, so any such assertions need to be taken with a grain of salt. Although Pete hates the Luthors for stealing away his family's creamed corn glory, the Rosses haven't done too badly. Mr. Ross is an attorney and Mrs. Ross is a judge. Pete keeps trashing primary-colored Camaros and wears more fashionable clothing than Clark. >Pete learned about Clark's alien origins in the episode Duplicity and, after an initial (understandable) freakout, has done probably as good a job keeping the secret as any teenage boy could. The problem is, Pete is a teenage boy. He's not a particularly noble character; he's kind of a jerk, actually. He fancies himself a ladies man. He likes/shills Remy Zero and the Talon Mix, and he's not above manipulating Clark's behavior with the use of both red and green meteor. Many fans used to think that SJ3 deserved more screen time, but then he received more screen time and we realized we should have wished for something else. Like Clark and Lex kissing onscreen.
Series Overview Obviously, there is a lot left out of these synopses. See the Links section for more thorough series guides, recaps, etc.
Season 1	October 16, 1989*: Smallville, KS, the Creamed Corn Capital of the World! Lionel Luthor visits Smallville, his young, very-red-haired son in tow. As the child wanders in the corn field, Lionel purportedly dupes the Ross family out of their creamed corn factory. As the deal is being completed, Lex finds a Jesus-like figure begging for help in the field, and then the world explodes. A shower of meteors decimates much of the town and serves as cover for the entry of one small, podlike spaceship. (Some of the information about Clark's crash-landing is from the "flashback" S2 episode, Lineage) Toddler Clark kneels down and peers into an overturned pickup truck at Jonathan and Martha Kent. Jonathan is a little wary, but Martha is adamant: this kid was meant for them, delivered literally from heaven. They load up their new son's pod and prepare to hightail it out of danger when they are stopped by Lionel Luthor who wants help with his son. Wee Lex has only one sad tuft of red hair left and Lionel is afraid to pick him up, but Jonathan scoops him up and carries him to the truck. Wee Clark touches Wee Lex's face and it seems to make him feel better. Tender-hearted fangirls squee moistly. October 2001: Smallville, KS, the Meteor Capital of the World! Teenage Clark and barely-adult Lex "meet violent" in an accident on a bridge. Lex's Porsche takes Clark through the guard rail, and Clark has to peel the roof off of the car to get to the goodies inside. Clark kisses gives Lex mouth-to-mouth on the riverbank and the boys find an intense, instantaneous friendship/obsession. Oh, and Clark discovers he's an alien with a spaceship. Clark spies nightly on the girl next door, Lana Lang—it's only a little stalker-creepy—and watches her kiss her boyfriend on the porch swing. Said boyfriend, Whitney Fordman, realizes that Clark is interested in his girl and this results in Clark being chosen as the "scarecrow" for the football season. Without much logic, Whitney puts Lana's green stone necklace on Clark, which completely saps his strength. Later that night, Lex finds Clark tied on an almost-cross, cuts him down, and then protests futilely as Clark dashes off into the corn in his underwear. Because Clark saved his life, Lex decides that Clark's happiness is the most important thing in the world, and tries to interest Lana in Clark, starting in the second episode, Metamorphosis, and keeps it up through the rest of S1. Lex's worries about becoming like his father are always near the surface and Clark occasionally deigns to reassure him that he's not nearly as big an asshole as his dad. The townspeople are slow to warm up to Lex, except possibly for Martha. Freaks of the Week are a tedious pattern for much of S1. Most of them are lame. A couple of popular freaks from S1 returned in S2. Ryan James from Straystands out as being a "good" freak. He can read minds, but he can't read Clark's. He elects Clark to be his own personal superhero, and the Kents sort of adopt him emotionally, even while releasing him to the custody of an aunt. It's not always a FotW—some of the villains come by their nastiness naturally—Sam Phelan and Victoria Hardwick, for example. Clark and Lex stand close together—like, kissing distance—all the time. They gaze at each other longingly. Clark blushes madly and peers coyly at Lex through his eyelashes. At this point, Tom Welling was not much of an actor, so it made it that much hotter that Clark was constantly getting flustered by Lex. Because, you know, obviously they were doing it. In the final episode of S1, Clark and Chloe set off to attend the Spring Formal. Meanwhile, the sleazy reporter, Roger Nixon runs off into the woods with his evidence about Clark, Jonathan hot on his heels. Whitney is leaving to join the Marines, leaving Lana without a date (oh, boo, hoo). She drives him to the bus station and is caught in a tornado. Naturally, Clark senses she's in danger and leaves Chloe standing on the dance floor. Up at the mansion, Lex is put in the position of deciding whether or not to save his father's life and makes what, ultimately, was the probably the wrong choice. Clark's "gifts" in S1 are: superspeed, superstrength, x-ray vision and floating—but no flying, as yet. *We actually get this exact date in the S2 episode Visitor, taken from a missing persons flyer.
Season 2	At the beginning of S2, Lex marries a Desiree Atkins, a mutant with pink sparkly breath, but he loves her a little less when she attempts to kill him by way of a pheromone-drunk, shotgun-toting Jonathan. Unfortunately, Lex does not learn his lesson and finds another girl to marry by the end of S2. He continues to do favors for Clark and the Kents and receives little (on camera) thanks. He also continues to bonk his vulnerable skull on hard surfaces. Meteor mutants love Lana, and Clark saves her multiple times. When Aunt Nell wants to move to Metropolis, Lana pitches a fit and refuses to go. Inexplicably, the Sullivans invite her to move in with them. Lana finds out that her mom was a hussy and her biological father is still alive. Henry Small is a pointless character—just another person who will abandon Lana. Lionel, blind but alive, moves into the mansion to make Lex's life hell and also to attempt to seduce Martha Kent. He eventually gets his sight back, but puts off telling anyone about it. Ryan James makes another appearance. He and Lex bond over Warrior Angel comics and everyone is delighted to have him back, so naturally Ryan turns out to have a brain tumor and dies. Before he does, however, he lets slip, obliquely, that Martha is pregnant. This is later confirmed. In Skinwalker, Clark falls through a hole and "discovers" the Kawatche caves. Petroglyphs tell a cheesy pseudo-Native-American spaceman story that Clark thinks describes a visit by one of his ancestors. He becomes obsessed with the caves and gets Lex involved, as well. Lex hires Dr. Walden, a linguist (???) to study the cave paintings. Chloe spends most of S2 being angry about Clark's lack of romantic feeling toward her. By the end of the season, she's hurt and bitter enough to let Lionel Luthor talk her into spying on Clark for him. Lex's supposedly-dead half-brother, Lucas, is not dead at all. In the fantabulous episode, Prodigal, all of the Luthors double-cross each other and wave guns around, while Clark seethes with jealousy. Plus, Lex has to move in with the Kents for a couple of days, and he helps out around the farm!!!!! Clark is contacted by a researcher, Dr. Swann, who believes he is Kal-El, Last Son of Krypton, and is able to convince Clark, as well. Lana finally decides she likes Clark "that way" and they have a bunch of dull will-they-or-won't-they? moments. Lana proves herself to be a lousy friend to Chloe at every opportunity—but, in all fairness, Chloe needs to face reality re: Clark. Lex's new girlfriend, Dr. Helen Bryce, agrees to move into the mansion. Once she does, she finds that Lex has a secret room and demands to be let in. This room contains his "obsession," i.e., a museum of Clarkiana, complete with ruined Porsche and glamour shots. Although she is known to be in cahoots with Lionel, Lex still wants to marry her. She dumps him right before the wedding, then shows up to marry him anyway. They get on a plane together and drink a little celebratory champagne, but Lex wakes up with the plane going down and Helen and the crew missing. Clark's biological dad, Jor-El, is a tyrant and Clark is tired of the nagging. He steals a Kryptonite key from Lionel Luthor (who knows way too much) and attempts to basically kill his father (!!!!) by killing the ship. The ship is destroyed, and the resulting shock wave overturns the Kent truck, injuring Martha and causing her to lose the baby. Unfortunately, Jor-El can apparently live anywhere, and continues to nag Clark throughout what is probably the worst day of his life. Pa Kent is so upset about the loss of the baby that he blames Clark and hurts his feelings. Clark retaliates by running off to Metropolis wearing a red Kryptonite ring. Clark's "gifts" in S2 include the addition of heat vision and possibly the dubious gift of sleepflying. He also develops the ability to read and understand the Kryptonian language.
Season 3	Run your cursor over the following for Exile spoilers: Three months after the end of S2, Clark is living the high life in Metropolis. He's got a penthouse, blue satin sheets, and a t-shirt with a big picture of Kryptonite on it. No, it doesn't make any sense to me, either. He robs ATMs by punching holes through them, and robs bank robbers. He buys a Ferrari with cash and gets the skanky saleswoman as a gift-with-purchase. He takes her to a nightclub, Atlantis, but then gets pissy with her when she tries to touch him. Meanwhile, Lex runs around barechested (!!!!!) on an island, his pants almost falling off his hips (yet more !!!!!), and has arguments with a mysterious dreadlocked guy, Lewis, whom he attempts to kill in self-defense. However, Lewis turns out to be a hallucination and Lex is rescued by a Jamaican sailor. In our last scene with Lex, he is holding a gun on Lionel and accusing him of plotting to kill him. We know, however, that it is Evil Helen, She Who Shops, who is responsible. Everyone wants to tell Clark what to do. Self-proclaimed Metropolis "crime boss" Morgan Edge tries to recruit Clark for his team of thieves. Chloe (who knows where he is) tries to get him to come home. She gives Lana the address and Lana shows up to scold him, but to no avail. Finally, Jonathan takes the original key and goes to the caves for help. Jor-El—after belittling him and asking if he'd give anything to get Clark back—teleports him to the scene of Clark's current illegal act—a robbery in Lionel Luthor's office, He is not happy to see Jonathan. However, Jonathan is now Super!Bo and can run really fast and hit really hard. Clark and Jonathan struggle and crash through a window, and hurtle toward the ground. Steaming heaps of cheese! I don't care how many times they say "No tights, no flights," I think someone is going to fly pretty fucking soon here... Yay! Our show is back!
Recurring Roles
	Gabe Sullivan, played by Robert Wisden. Chloe's father, who has raised her alone since she was age five. Gabe worked for LuthorCorp and now works for LexCorp. He selflessly and inexplicably agreed to take Lana in when she refused to move to Metropolis with her Aunt Nell.
	Henry Small, played by Patrick Cassidy. Lana's biological father. Lawyer, descendant of the founding family of the 'ville, and (per his wife) attention deficit disorder guy. Lana is hoping to fill the parent-shaped hole in her life, but Henry doesn't seem inclined to play the role.
	Nell Potter, played by Sarah-Jane Redmond. Lana's aunt who has raised her since her parents were [spoiler] pancaked [/spoiler]in the meteor shower of 1989. Consorted with Luthors in the past, apparently staying at their houses and selling them property. She "abandoned" Lana to move with her boyfriend, Dean, to live in Metropolis.
	Dr. Virgil Swann, played by Christopher Reeve. Appeared in the episode Rosetta. Dr. Swann is a former technology tycoon who now devotes his life to finding evidence of intelligent life outside Earth. He received transmissions from Krypton back at the time of the meteor shower that, when decrypted, told briefly of the fate of Krypton and offered Kal/Clark up to the mercy of humanity.
	Shippy Sue* & Jor-El, voiced by Terrence Stamp. Clark's magical ship can do anything! Heal any illness! Loooooves Clark and everyone Clark loves. Yay, Shippy Sue! Jor-El, Clark's biological dad, wants Clark to disdain his human friends and family and start ruling the world, and pronto! Destroying Shippy to get rid of Jor-El didn't work at all. But the results were still very, very grave. The moral of the story: Don't fuck with Shippy. * ™bexless, I believe.
	Warrior Angel. Bald, purple-suited, winged superhero. Has a nemesis/former best friend named Devilicus. Lex Luthor is—and Ryan James was—a huge fan of Warrior Angel. One of the most anvilicious sidenotes in the entire series, but one also rather beloved by most fans.
Skanks and Villains
	Dominic Senatori, played by Jason Connery. Lionel's "drone." Officious and creepy and has it in for Lex. For some reason, his name was changed from Senatori to Santori in the S2 episode Suspect.
	Victoria Hardwick, played by Kelly Brook. A vapid young woman with no acting talent whatsoever. And, honestly, not remarkably pretty. Based on snippets from the original scripts that have surfaced, Victoria was supposed to be a clever, conniving minx. Onscreen, however, Victoria barely had dialogue and wasn't even very good at being decorative. She was a standout not only for her placid zombidity, but also for her freakish lack of chemistry with Lex/Michael Rosenbaum. She actually seemed to be the most alien creature in Smallville due to this bizarre incompatibility with The Sexy.
	Lucas Luthor, played by Paul Wasilewski. Lionel's bastard, Lex's half-brother. Clearly a Luthor, based on his free-range sexual chemistry with any and everything (especially family members). Appears in Prodigal, wherein he makes Clark sooo jellus just by existing. He exposes Lionel's fake blindness when he throws a billiard ball at his head to make him flinch. To the delight of fans everywhere, he doesn't fall in love with Lana. He waves guns around and helps Lex screw over Dear Old Dad. He's now under Lex's protection in some unspecified location. One can only hope he'll show up again.
	Rachel Dunlevy, played by Blair Brown. Nutty nurse who screwed Lionel Luthor while ministering to his dying wife's needs. Conceived Lucas during their affair. Gave the child up for adoption according to a somewhat murky timeline, but probably when he was about a year old. Believed fervently that Clark was her son and tried to kill Lex with an axe to make a point about the issue. Served as further proof that Lionel likes redheads.
	Sheriff Ethan Miller, played by Mitchell Kosterman. A benign, friendly presence up until the S2 episode, Suspect, in which he was exposed as the not-very-adept mastermind plotting to kill Lionel Luthor
Gone But Not Forgotten
	Sam Phelan, played by Cameron Dye. Dirty cop hired by Lionel to keep young Lex out of trouble and help cover things up, including the incidents at Club Zero. Sees Clark stop a bus with his body and threatens to expose him unless Clark helps him rob the museum. Clark tricks him and Phelan gets shot and killed trying to escape.
	Roger Nixon, played by Tom O'Brien. Newspaper reporter for The Inquisitor with a prior acquaintance with Lex, presumably because of the need to cover up his youthful indiscretions. Although Lex knew Nixon couldn't be trusted, he hired him to gather information regarding the crash on the bridge and, by extension, Clark and the Kents. Suspecting Clark's invulnerability, Nixon rigged the Kent truck to explode with Clark in it and taped the accident. When Lex found out, he tried to call Nixon off, but it was too late. Lex ended up shooting him to protect the Kents and Clark's secret. Despite the fact that the shooting was in defense of Jonathan and there really was no other way for Lex to handle it, the Kents (definitely Jonathan, the hypocrite) seem to think Lex is morally corrupt for killing Nixon.
	Dr. Steven Hamilton, played by Joe Morton. Scientist working for Lex on meteor research. He became less interested in the work he was doing for Lex and more involved in his own projects. Meteor rock exposure eventually killed him, but not before he was able to steal Clark's ship and "show" it to blind Lionel, who pawed it all over but wasn't totally convinced. Lionel was definitely intrigued and stepped up his efforts to find out Clark's secrets after that.
	Dr. Fredrick Walden, played by Rob LaBelle. Dr. Walden was introduced in the episode Skinwalker. The Cunning Linguist was hired by Lex to decipher the pictographs on the walls of the Kawatche caves. While messing with the ship's key (dropped there by Clark), he was blinded and given insight into Clark's unique situation before slipping into a coma. He woke up in time to interfere with Lex and Helen's rehearsal dinner and tattle to Lionel about Clark being an alien. A showdown in the barnyard ended up with Dr. Walden fried to a crisp, secondary to Clark blowing up some sort of fuel tank with his heat vision. Lionel Luthor requested that the coroner turn over Dr. Walden's blackened paw to him because an impression of the ship's key was burned into the palm.
	Whitney Fordman, played by Eric Johnson. The Quarterback. Lana's original Twoo Wuv. One of the original group of football players who strung Clark up on the cross as the "Scarecrow" his freshman year. Eventually, he and Clark were almost friends. Whitney's father died and he decided to join the Marines; before he left, he asked Clark to look after Lana. In the S2 episode Visage, Whitney died in a explosion in a field in Indonesia. He then "returned" to Smallville as a shapeshifted Tina Grier in order to stalk Lana.
	Pamela Jenkins, played by Donna Bullock. Lex's nanny and a friend of Lillian Luthor who promised to stay with Lex and raise him when Lillian died. She didn't keep her promise. When she catches up with Lex, he is understandably hurt and pissed, but later reconciles with her when he finds out she's dying. She's a sympathetic character in fanfic, quite often involved in a sexual/romantic relationship with Lillian.
Lillian Luthor, wife of Lionel, Mother of Lex and Julian Luthor. Lillian died in 1993 of a heart condition (though the Smallville comics give her cause of death as cancer) when Lex was 13.When he was roughly 11, his mother gave birth to Julian, who died on the day he was to be baptized. For obvious reasons, they never appear on the series, but they do appear in fanfic.
Merry Wives
hot for teacher	Desiree Atkins, played by Krista Allen. Entranced Lex with sparkly pink pheromone breath and really short skirts. She attempted to seduce Clark in order to have him kill Lex, but for some strange reason, Clark was the only man who was completely immune to her charms. Huh. Wonder why. So, instead, she turned to salt-of-the-earth farmer Jonathan into a murderous, lurching galoot. Luckily, Clark was able to stop his father from killing Lex.	here comes the cold-blooded killer bride #1
she loves lex so much	Dr. Helen Bryce, played by Emmanuelle Vaugier. Murderous wife #2. Lex met her in anger management class and then threw himself at her repeatedly, despite her cold demeanor and short temper. She dumped him, then moved in with him. Then he showed her his CoCK* and she freaked a little bit. They weren't going to get married, but then they did, except she was acting all Stepford on the plane and probably put roofies in his champagne before parachuting to safety and leaving him to die. (and the S3 premiere doesn't prove this theory wrong) * Chamber of Clark Kent - ™ thamiris	here comes the cold-blooded killer bride #2
Useful Links
Archives	The Smallville Slash Archive, AKA SSA - slash fic Level 3 Records Room , - any SV fic Wild Coyote - het fic
Meta	See LJ posts by: LaT Rosenho, AKA Hope, who does great script analysis, as well Thamiris Yeah, theoretically anyone can do meta, but these three consistently do it well.
Official sites: www.smallville.net Smallville Torch Smallville Ledger The WB	Unofficial Smallville resources: Kryptonsite Devoted to Smallville Fortress of El Smallville Webring Smallville Fan Fiction Resources Television Without Pity Smallville Recaps and Forums Panfandom Smallville Recaps and Forums
Kryptonian Souvenirs
The Kawatche Caves, introduced in the S2 episode Skinwalker, have proven to be quite important and not the poorly-thought-out gimmick they first appeared to be. Clark is convinced that the petroglyphs in the caves tell the story of a prior Kryptonian visit to Earth, and believes that he is the Numan (Naman, whatever) whose return is predicted.
	Octagonal hole in the Kawatche Cave. When the key has been inserted in the hole, beams of energy/light shoot out and usually hurt someone. The hole is often referred to as "slutty" since nearly everyone who enters the caves seems to be compelled to stick a finger in it and trace its contours.
	Ship's Key. It's been in a tool box and a flour tin. It has served as a paperweight on Lex's desk. Even though Shippy Sue is gone, the key continues to change lives in S3...
	This is the sort of trippy light show that putting the ship's key in the octagonal hole gets you. If you were the dumbass that put the key in the hole, you'll also get a beam of light through your chest that will lift you up to wobble in midair like a big, meat kite.
	The Beast with Two Heads: Numan and Segit. An ancient Kawatche petroglyph that shows the savior (Numan) and his former best friend/now enemy (Segit)
	Kryptonian language/symbols and Kryptonite Clark has his own language, but so far it delivers nothing but bad news. Post-Rosetta, the green rocks are now officially known by their canon name. The bars of refined Kryptonite at right are from Lionel Luthor's safe.
Proof of Gay Many of the gayest moments are, unfortunately, shot in such a way that there's no good way to show them in still photographs. If you're watching just for gayness, start with S1, when Tom Welling/Clark seemed especially unsure of himself and so in awe of Lex in every episode; the gay in S2 is more subtle. S3 is already pretty damn gay and we're only one ep into the season at the time of this writing.
lucky bottle!		Xmas in Vermont!
the friendship of legends sequence from hug, complete with longing looks		Oops. This isn't a character pic. My bad!
Just some examples of Gay, Gay, Gay: Lex's creepy speech in the pilot, which would have sent a straight boy running. The Trojan scene in Metamorphosis. The "seven-second" eyefuck in Hourglass. Most of Shimmer. The "friendship of legend" conversation at the end of Hug. Most of Heat. Most of Red, especially the invitation to live in the penthouse in Metropolis. The presumed blowjob before school in Redux. All of Prodigal. Clark's apparent non-interest in females as pointed by his bartender buddy in Exile.
Clarksploitation!

Recommendations to come tomorrow...

My overview is slashcentric because the fandom is primarily slashy. I mean, just look at the boys! They're so pretty, and so in love! However, there is great het and gen fic, too, and I'll be making an effort to include some of those stories. But really, I'm all about the m/m love.

Comments

[claire.livejournal.com]

fabulous overview. it's started to reignite my sv love. (and MR is still the sexiest).

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

He is! Even covered with blisters and blood and schmutz, he's the best half-naked boy on TV! Where are the damn screencaps??

[msdaccxx.livejournal.com]

FABulous overview, Jed, but I really think you could have emphasised the gay subtext a bit more *g*

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Um, would you believe me if I told you that I toned it down? I didn't want to be too unbalanced in the slash direction, but based on comments, I don't think I managed it. I have no problem seeing a het 'ship when one seems compelling, but there just isn't one here for me.

[fleegull.livejournal.com]

So, you see the show as a bit homosexual?

Interesting. I suppose I should force myself to rewatch it on the DVD of the first season I somehow procured and the second season which somehow happens to be taped and sitting next to my tv.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

You should definitely force yourself to watch. Probably more than once. I recommend Lex's creepy speech in the pilot where he strokes his sweaty head and *eyes* Clark, or the apple scene, or...Yeah. Watch, even if it kills you to do so.

I'm kind of embarrassed now--I really thought I was posting something well-rounded in terms of not pushing subtext. Obviously, I am seeing through seriously warped slash goggles when it comes to this show.

[bizarra.livejournal.com]

Wow.. and this is why I dropped out of Smallville fandom. Don't do slash. Don't see it at all on Smallville. I'm apparently watching a different show.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

While I certainly don't mean to offend anyone, this is certainly what I see, and what the majority of the SV folks I know see. If you keep track of particularly good non-slash SV stories, you might want to sign up to do a month's recommendations, since the majority of the people who have signed up thus far *are* going to be slash-centric in their recommendations.

[reetchick.livejournal.com]

Damn, baby. You outdid yourself here.

(But don't you think the info about Lewis and Laura Lang ought to be behind spoiler tags? It is one of SV's best kept secrets, after all!)

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Wait -- did something bad happen to Lana's parents?? Noooooo!!!!!


;)

[supergrover24.livejournal.com]

I officially declare my love for you...NOW.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

hee! Well, um, I love you, too.

[thornsilver]

Wonderful description. An addition about Chamber of Clark Kent: it had a blown up picture of Clark's face on the wall. The room might have been too dark to show suspicious stains on it, but you know they were there! :D

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

They were there, definitely. And don't those kind of stains glow under black light? It's something I've never been able to test personally for biological reasons...

I wanted to put in a longer description of the CoCK, but I keep running into LJ's 65K-per-post limit. I think I might have to put up a page somewhere with the "full" version of this overview, since I had to leave so much out.

[sweetvalleyslut.livejournal.com]

The "seven-second eyefuck" is actually from Hourglass. But Shimmer is insanely gay anyway, what with the invisible naked boy running around the mansion. And the tulips. And...yeah. I miss season one!

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

You are quite correct...I've made the change. Yes! Naked invisible boys attacking people! Though I recently read the original script where Amy was the attacker all along, which would have been just as good. Because, you know, Lex is actually her brother since they were siblings on ZDJJ, and that's yet more semi-Luthorcest...

Whew. I'm okay, really. Yes, episode laden with subtext.

[tobyfan.livejournal.com]

What a great write up!

I am especially fond of this *very true* statement --

He has sexual chemistry with everything and everyone, including his father and long-lost brother—except, however, for two of his three onscreen canon love interests.

Everything! Hee! So true.

Oh, in the Clarkploitation section, no ass shot? ;)

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

It was supposed to be there! I messed up so much code when I posted this, and I didn't go back to check. It's fixed; it's there now.

And I wonder how long they had to search to find girls who didn't have chemistry with MR? Krista Allen clearly liked him, but KB and EV seemed completely inert and indifferent to his many charms.

[liviapenn.livejournal.com]

*Awesome* review, VG. I just have a couple little quibbles. ^_^

Lex ended up shooting him to protect the Kents and Clark's secret.

Yep. Lex is a murderer.

No he isn't. It's not murder if you kill someone to *save another person's life.* Which I think was clearly Lex's motivation. I mean, Lex knew that Nixon knew stuff about Clark much earlier than that scene in the woods. If he'd *really* wanted to kill Nixon to protect Clark, he'd have done so at that time. However, he didn't.

I don't believe we're meant to see Lex as a murderer, simply because-- well, I think when and if Lex finally *does* murder someone, it's going to be the focus of its own episode, you know? They're going to make a bigger deal out of it than Nixon's death, which was obviously a *heroic* act according to the Smallville police department, Jonathan, and Clark. Look at "Precipice." It was all about Lex struggling with the desire to cold-bloodedly murder someone-- and in the end, he *couldn't do it*. Because he may have killed, but he's not a *murderer* yet. He's not capable of it at this point.

Cops aren't murderers when they kill someone who's got a hostage and is going to kill them. Lex saw Nixon attacking Jonathan, and he fired his gun just as Nixon was about to bash Jonathan's brains in with a rebar. There was no time for a warning shot or anything like that. People seemed to see this at the time as "Lex's descent to the dark side," but frankly what Lex did was *heroic*. Not murder.

Also this part:

He liked Whitney and likes Pete despite the fact that one strung his son up like a scarecrow and the other treats him like a big alien toy.

Jonathan never *knew* about the scarecrow incident. Had he known, he would not have had such high esteem for Whitney.

As for Pete, "treats him like a big alien toy?" This may be fanon, but when does Pete do this in canon? As far as I know, besides when he's high, Pete has been an *excellent* and supportive friend as regards the alien thing. And if he has treated Clark "like a toy" in some episode I've forgotten about-- again, is Jonathan aware of that?

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Well, I agree about Lex being a murderer, actually. I've changed the wording--and then changed it again--because I couldn't convey what I wanted to without hitting my post size limit (and hitting it hard). I agree that the Kents were grateful in the immediate aftermath, but they've been very hypocritical about Lex's heroism in that situation as time passes. Clark's veiled accusations in Suspect are the most obvious example. Jonathan's gratitude has nearly entirely evaporated except for the inexplicable, one-episode change of heart in Prodigal. I don't consider Lex a murderer, but I think that he does, and the continued mistrust the Kents show him doesn't help him feel any better about it.

Jonathan ignored direct statements and clear signals from Clark about his outcast status combined with his desire to join the football team. Having been a star player himself, Jonathan is obviously aware that being a jock is socially more comfortable than being the nerdy boy. The way he praises Whitney, whose attitude toward Clark is chilly, at best, is just really unfeeling, IMO. I don't hate Jonathan, but I find him painfully flawed and most of what he does in regard to both Clark and Lex just makes me cringe. So, I don't think that Jonathan has to know the full story to know that his obvious fondness for Whitney might hurt Clark's feelings.

It's established that Chloe likes Clark, and the way she behaved while infected with the parasite was an amplification of those feelings. If the same can be said for Pete, he seems to have a simmering anger toward Clark (probably for being a big liar all those years) that has the potential to come out in ugly, ugly ways. I am choosing to interpret Pete-on-cooties as an amplification of regular Pete. I do agree that Pete has only asked Clark to do a few "party tricks" when he wasn't high, but nothing abusive.

Pete apologizes to the Kents for messing with Clark with the use of Kryptonite at the end of Rush, and their ready acceptance of the apology and disregard of the implications just bugs the shit out of me. Of course, other than killing Pete and throwing his body into the grain silo to desiccate, I don't know how else they could handle Pete's betrayal (high or not, that's how I interpret it), but it still bugs me how understanding they are.

Oh, god. I'm a massive Lex apologist. But I still think it's true ;)

[twigged.livejournal.com]

jed, I love you for this! (and other things as well *g*)

He's not gay—that's just the way he walks.

Too many fabulously funny lines to quote them all, but I just have to stress this one for those who haven't seen the show. Lex sashays. His hips swivel in a way not even (especially) yearning-to-be-normal virginal farm boys can deny. Fangirls squee themselves hoarse.

My only quibble is you have no shots of Clark's megawatt smile. The only thing that makes him look his character's 15...16...17 years of age. I forgive your obvious pro-Lex take on the dynamics of the Clex's symbiotic relationship, but let it be known that Clark, too, is a woobie of the first order. *g*

Clark kisses gives Lex mouth-to-mouth on the riverbank and the boys find develop an intense, instantaneous friendship/obsession.

Looks like your strike-through formatting didn't come through here, and there's a typo as well.

*hugs you tight* Thanks again for doing this!!

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

I fixed it, I think. Oops--no. Will fix it all.

Well, you know how long this was originally--a 2.5MB file, and I had about 50 more pictures I wanted to use beyond *that*. I think I need to do a supplementary web page, which will have big pictures of Clark's pearly fangs.

[allpurposegirl.livejournal.com]

wow,J. That was very awesome.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Our show is a lot more complicated than it seems. I still think it's kind of dumb, and that TPTB miss a lot of good opportunities, but going over the episodes again made me see that there is a pattern, however vague and meandering it might sometimes be.

[dammitcarl.livejournal.com]

you might want to make a bit more clear that pete knows the truth about clark and how that came about.

but, wow, i'm impressed.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

I tried to add a little bit, but there's a 65KB limit on post size, and I keep hitting it. I think I need to do a supplementary web page--with bigger pictures and all the stuff I had to leave out!

[rhiannonhero.livejournal.com]

Wheee!!! Excellent job!!! Yipee yi yay!! I love those boys!

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

You know, I think I might love them, too.

[fourteenlines.livejournal.com]

*giggle* This was a great overview!

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad it was entertaining ;)

[smallcondo.livejournal.com]

This overview rocks! and Dear Lord, does the hoyay has plenty of facts to back it up!

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

It's just...so evident. And while we can talk about editing decisions, or needing characters to do certain things to advance plot--while that's interesting, it's not the show. The show is what ends up on the screen, and it's TOTALLY GAY.

The HoYay is mighty, I tell you!

[theatlien.livejournal.com]

Jed, this was wonderful. It put a much needed smile on my face. {{HUGS}}

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Yay! It was a lot of fun to put together. I am compelled now to put together a ridiculously obsessive and comprehensive web page about the show (i.e., not just my fic) because I couldn't fit all the pretty pictures in for this one.

And "much needed"? Hope things are okay.

[amandajane5.livejournal.com]

Wow, this is incredible! And so much fun to read. Sigh, *loves show*.

Oh, but he does have X-ray vision in S1 also, much to the chagrin of those of us who weren't interested in the muscles in Pete's face.

[velvetglove.livejournal.com]

Duh! Thank you for pointing out what should have been the first "ability" I listed. I will add this posthaste!

[porntestpilot.livejournal.com]

Well, I've already proposed to you, or at least Mr. Glove, I've professed my love, offered to start a religion for you, there's really nothing left...do you need anyone maimed maybe?

That was an excellent summary for Smallville. I don't think you over-did it with the gay [non-sub] text at all. You even [due to space constraints I would imagine] left out that wonderful bit about Clark stalking Lex in Zero and knowing his 3,000 phone numbers. Or the fact that Clark's mom told him to 'cool it' with Lex or the... *ahem* Moves on.

I'd like to second Thamiris and LaT doing fantastic metas. I've not read RosenHo's but I will check them out.

His CoCK. That's good Thamiris. I'll be stealing that if you don't mind.
Great job Jed, you did our fandom justice, and I'm glad you were able to tweak it until you could post it.

Er, I feel sad for ppl you can't see the gay in Smallville. Where's the fun in that?

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

This overview was brilliantly done - kudos to you, velvetglove, and the thought you put into it. I think you covered all the main points beautifully, especially our... ambivalence... about Lana. Your Clex pics are well chosen. I know how difficult it is to find pictures of Clark and Lex together, especially in which you can see both their faces. Odd, when their onscreen chemistry is so strong. So dynamic.

Most of Shimmer.

So true!

[tigress35.livejournal.com]

Fanon says she is a Pink Peril, a selfish cock-blocker keeping the onscreen CLex from bursting into flame. Bitch.



There are a number of fanfic authors who attempt to give Lana some likable characteristics and these efforts are received variably.

This cracked my shit up yo!

This whole thing was just fantastic. I loved all the sidenotes in the end about Clarkspoiltationa nd "gay proof"

You forgot the 5 seconds of Lex staring at Clark's penis and smirking at him during the foil scene of Stray!!! It's the gayest one ever!

[tradesland.livejournal.com]

Oh My God.
YOU ARE INCREDIBLE. You made so worth the vigil;)

Wow, wow, congratulations, but one question?... what you mean "the gayest show ever"?, hummm
*trades pondering*

Excelente work, one of the best.

[killerloki.livejournal.com]

WOW!! What a thorough overview! A fantastically fun and informative read. I missed quite a bit of season one (need to pick up the DVDs!) and it was great to read your season 1 overview - oh the stuff I missed! I'm now dying to see that endless eyefuck from "Hourglass" - sigh....

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm kind of late getting on the crack van, but this made me love my show and my boys all over again. Thanks, Velvetglove! Especially for the Proof of Gay. It does a squeeing fangirl's heart good! :)

[nel-ani.livejournal.com]

Lana finds out that her mom was a hussy and her biological father is still alive.

HAHAHAHA!

Ahem.