crack_van | Let's do the show right. Here! by catwalksalone, PG-13

Fandom: NCIS
Pairing: Tony/McGee
Length: 6,300k
Author on LJ:

catwalksalone
Author Website: First we show up, then we see what happens
Why this must be read:

I love this fic because Tony and Tim are absolutely charming as a couple while retaining their essential canon characterizations. Um, plus, it's funny!

How can you resist this exchange?
"Ow!" he yelps, totally unprepared for the shoulder punch McGee lands on him. "You're an idiot," he snaps, snatching his hand away and using it for its primary headslapping purpose.

"Your mom's an idiot." McGee returns the headslap.

"My mom's dead," Tony volleys with headslap number two.

"So's your face."

Here, have a longer excerpt, if you're not convinced that this is the funniest Tony/Tim fic you've never read:

McGee just smiles in the way that manages to be almost unbearably smug but stupidly hot at the same time and Tony gives himself his five hundred and twenty-third lecture on inappropriate workplace behaviors.

It goes like this:

Do not make out with your boyfriend in the workplace. This includes, but is not limited to: the squadroom, Abby's lab, autopsy, MTAC, the breakroom, any of the sundry restrooms, the elevator, the van, the evidence garage and/or any of the identikit cars. Do not do it even if he loosens his tie, rolls up his sleeves and has that sleepy look that means what he'd really like is for you to fuck him right here, right now, nice and slow. Do not do it. Do not think about doing it. Do not think about thinking about doing it. Stop it! You're thinking about it right now, don't think you have me fooled, you arrest-for-indecent-public-behavior-just-waiting-to-happen, I am you.

Questions?

Tony's never said he was any good at lectures.

Let's do the show right. Here!