crack_van | With My Tail In The Air by lazulisong and leupagus (PG)

Fandom: STAR TREK:REBOOT
Characters/Pairing: Gen crew plus Pike and plot aliens
Length: ~2500
Authors on LJ: lazulisong and leupagus
Author Website: also here at A03
Why this must be read:

The aliens were very sorry for nearly killing Captain Kirk, and wanted to fix things. Turning a member of the Enterprise crew into a cat is a surprisingly common occurrence within the ST fandom and this story is one of the best. It’s crazy funny, (seriously, do not read in the same room as someone else unless you're prepared for a ‘See, Captain Kirk gets turned into a cat…’ explanation) and delightful in the very best possible way.

"Captain," Spock says, standing in front of the captain's chair on the bridge, "It is inappropriate for you to be here."

Kirk blinks up at him, and lashes his tail.

"Nevertheless, you agreed that in case of emergency, you would not be able to press the console buttons with suitable dexterity," Spock replies. "Additionally I had believed that we all learned a valuable lesson regarding the importance of physical appearance last week during our confrontation with the Ferengi. Your form at the moment, while quite ferocious in aspect to creature less than six inches tall, is not quite the imposing figure that best represents a Starfleet warship."

Kirk considers this, and tucks his feet under him, curling his tail around his hindquarters. Sensing defeat, Spock gathers the captain in his arms and says, "As you were" to the security officer posted at the door for Gamma shift.

"I swear, Commander, I don't know how he could've gotten in or how I could've seen him," the woman says fretfully. Spock glances down at her boots; there are telltale traces of cat hair on them.

"Indeed, Lieutenant," he says.

With My Tail in the Air