crack_van | Mau Loa Means the Time We Have by gaiaanarchy (PG-13)

Fandom: STARGATE ATLANTIS
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Length: ~ 15,000 words
Author on LJ:

gaiaanarchy
Author Website: Fic Tag on LJ
Why this must be read: As far as I know, Gaia has left fandom, but her wonderful character-driven stories remain. This one in particular has always gotten to me, and the final image of the story lingers in my brain as one of the most poignant. The story's an AU (of sorts) in that it departs significantly from SGA canon. It's a post-Atlantis world where Sheppard never went there and Rodney came back ... different. (Note: it's established fairly early that he's using a name other than his own, but it's very clearly Rodney.)

It's the story of how these two men - both damaged, both survivors of things they can't talk about - find each other, and through that relationship, find the happiness and belonging they never thought they would.

"So you're Air Force?" David practically spits it, sounding bitter. Usually, people are glad to know he's a pilot. The Air Force is the Harvard of the services. People will accept that he's not just a dumb grunt.

"Was. As of two years ago." John does a little bitterness of his own. Combat zone to combat zone to fucking illegal 'consulting' missions, and then they kick him out because he actually believed them when they said 'no man left behind.'

"Oh. What happened? Get tired of putting people in impossible situations and then asking them to deal? Of being all stoic military bravery and 'I'll protect you because you clearly couldn't possibly help even though it's scientists that ultimately win wars' and then getting yourself killed?!"

John takes a moment to sort that one out, but then figures that he won't actually be able make sense of it no matter how hard he tries. Clearly, the military did something to David - something personal. "No. I disobeyed a direct order. They kicked me out."

"Good for you... yes, good for you. Good men don't listen to that..." he waves his hands abstractly. John thinks that maybe, if given long enough, he might be able to interpret what that means. "They don't stay when they're ordered. They go back and help their commanders to fight off a ten-thousand-yea... ten-thousand rabid communists."

Well, that was a new one. "There weren't any communists involved."

"Oh, yes, right. What order did you disobey?"

It's Dex this time, chest a mess of burned flesh and melted flak-vest, eyes blank, which is even worse than accusing. "It's a beautiful night for a swim, isn't it?"

David looks at the water and snorts.

John, already unfastening his belt, replies, "Every night's a beautiful night in paradise."

David looks at him disdainfully. "Are you crazy?! There could be rip-tides or sharks or man-eating jellyfish!"

John rolls his eyes. "I'm a good swimmer, sharks don't eat people, and there's no such thing as man-eating jellyfish. Now are you coming or not?" Looking down, John realizes this might be a mistake. John's a good swimmer, but David... doubtful. Not like he'll...

But then David stands and unbuckles his pants as unselfconsciously as all those old men that come sagging to the pool in red Speedos. "If I die by hungry jellyfish, it's all your fault."

John grins. "If you get eaten by a jellyfish, I'll take full blame for the zoological breakthrough."

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