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[mf_luder_xf]

Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Cas, (intimated) Dean/OCs and Castiel/OCs
Length: ~29,000
Author on LJ: dachinchilla (now scaramouche on DW)
Author Website: Supernatural Fics

This fic is the closest I will ever get to mpreg. That is, it's one of those awesome fics where magically (and not involving anatomy beyond the sex) the two male characters have a kid together. Only, while this is a happy story, it certainly doesn't start out that way.

Dean never even knew he had a son until Anna kidnaps him so Dean can meet him. Daniel is an "abomination" so Castiel has been hiding from Heaven and everyone else. But a lot happens in five years and both angel and man have grown up and grown apart.

God, I love this story so much. It's sad, it's realistic, it's happy and wonderful. It makes me heart ache because I'm all about the Dean/Cas OTP, but really, Sam will always come first for Dean and in this story their son will always come first for Cas. But it's right. And it doesn't mean Dean and Cas aren't meant to be.

This story is absolutely one of my favorites. The way Daniel is written and Castiel's protectiveness of him, as well as the relationship angst between Dean and Cas gets me every time. And despite being kid!fic, it's remarkably in character for all parties involved. Brilliantly done.


Dean can barely wrap his mind around the bizarreness of the situation. He hadn’t thought that the world had anything left to throw at him, not after the everyday Twilight Zone that was his life pre-Apocalypse, but there it is: God is an assistant librarian with a sadistic streak.

Dean looks down at the dark, sloshing liquid in his cup, feeling like he’s losing a competition when Daniel’s attention wavers and slides to the little plastic menus propped up by the tissue dispenser. A million questions start and die in Dean’s throat, blocked by coffee that tastes bland though he’s pretty sure it isn’t, something inside falling and fading when Daniel starts kicking his legs again restlessly.

“Does your—” Dean starts, and then he has to stop, because Daniel’s gaze is back, sharp and (if Dean isn’t projecting) judgmental. “Castiel. That’s what you call him, your...?” He can’t even say it.

“Yes,” Daniel says. “Because that’s his name.”

Before this other question can die abortively, Dean voices it: “Do you know who I am?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Daniel says. “I’m going to die young, a gruesome half-breed all alone in the world.”

Dean scowls. “That’s—”

“Even if I don’t die young, I will spend the rest of my life hiding and hunted, always unable to settle at any place for long, living in fear of—”

“Hey, now wait a minute!” Dean snaps. “You’re just a kid! You have your whole life ahead of you, you can’t possibly know what’s going to happen just because you have some, uh, unusual history, but that only means that there’s no rules written for you yet! Where do you get off being a—” he pauses to censor himself “—negative nelly at your age?”

Daniel’s eyes are wide now. He’s shrunk back a little on the seat, lower lip dropped open with surprise. “Oh.”

“Sorry,” Dean says gruffly, embarrassed. “It’s just, you shouldn’t have to say things like that. You shouldn’t have to think like that. That’s just not right, no matter what – no matter who you are.”

“No one’s ever shouted at me before,” Daniel says softly, a tremor in his voice that Dean only belatedly realizes is awe.

“Yeah, well, I don’t think Cas knows how to shout,” Dean says, mind once again drifting back to the asshole angel that’s the reason they’re having this awkward little shindig in the first place. “He just mutters menacingly. Maybe growl a little when he’s feeling really angry.”

Daniel nods rapidly, eyes still wide.

He has the kid’s full attention now, which is kinda weird on top of the rest of the morning’s really weird, but the tightness in Dean’s chest has eased up. He offers a hand across the table.

“I’m Dean. Nice to meet you.”

Daniel narrows his eyes at the hand – the gesture is beautifully human and childish – but he takes it and shakes gently. “Likewise, Dean.” He looks thoughtful for a moment. “That’s a common name, I’m guessing, like my own? Castiel’s let me read some of the Winchester Gospels—”

Oh, shit, too many connotations there, is that even appropriate reading for a child—

“—so it is a good name to have, except that Dean Winchester is a dick.”

“Hey!” Dean says before he can stop himself. “That’s not the kind of language that...”

Daniel’s tilted his head in a perfect imitation of that quirk Cas once had (does he still have it now, Dean wonders), and the sheer familiarity of it makes a small part of Dean go still with yearning.

“What do want with me?” Daniel asks suddenly.

The question pushes uncomfortably close to who are you, so Dean says quickly, “I just want to get to know you a little. Castiel’s a good friend of mine. Or he was, back in the day. I don’t know what he thinks about me now.”

“What do you think about him now?” Daniel asks, and it’s kinda adorable how he’s pretending he’s not really curious to know what Dean’s answer is.

But the thing is, even Dean doesn’t know what his answer is.

“He’s... Cas,” Dean says lamely. “I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“But you were friends, once,” Daniel says. “And Anna trusts you.”

It’s obvious that Daniel doesn’t quite believe the friendship bit, let alone that Dean is trustworthy, but he appears to be unconcerned that he’s been left alone in the company of a stranger, which, if the kid’s lament about angels after his head is true, seems rather cocky.

“Food’s good?” Dean asks, grasping for a topic change.

“Yes, I like this,” Daniel says, belatedly biting into another forkful of pancake. “Where will you be taking me later?”

“We can take a drive around town,” Dean suggests, feeling an old tug of disappointment that he no longer has the Impala. He would’ve liked to show off his girl to the kid, but maybe that’s for the best in case the car helps Daniel put two-and-two together before Dean is ready. “This is my first time in these parts as well.”

“Anna said that they’ve rebuilt it really well,” Daniel says. “After the end of the world.”

“Yeah, about that…” Dean says slowly. “How far into the Gospels have you read?”

Daniel’s face lights up. “The brothers Winchester have just been reunited with their father. It happened much faster than I thought it would, but I think something bad’s going to happen. The Demon is still there, he’s got a huge bad plan, I just know it... But Castiel hasn’t let me the read the next issue yet. Do you know what happens?” The kid is practically bouncing in his seat now, looking every bit his true age.

“I’m not going to tell you,” Dean says, trying not to think too closely about how creepy it is that his life is open for mass consumption. He’s never gotten used to it, not even after all this time. “It’ll be much more exciting when you read it for yourself.”

Daniel honest-to-goodness pouts, and Jesus Christ he’s really managed to channel Sam despite having never met him.

“That’s what Castiel said,” Daniel sighs.

A part of Dean softens at the affection in the way Daniel says Cas’ name.

Oh, the anger is still there, pinching tight along the edges of Dean’s thoughts, but Daniel has had Cas all this time, and Dean cannot deny how he hungers to know.

“How is Castiel?” he asks.

A lot can happen in five years. In that same timespan Dean lost his dad, been reunited with Sam, found dad, died a couple of times, watched Sam die a couple of times, went to hell, got resurrected, fucked an angel, destroyed the world, rebuilt the world… It was exhausting to think about.

The five years after seem positively mellow in comparison, but apparently that’s because Dean missed a huge chunk of it.

“He is as he is,” Daniel says, shrugging.

“I meant,” Dean says wryly, “Is Cas... okay? Is he well?”

Daniel still frowns at the use of the nickname, but he refrains from correcting it. “Yes, he’s fine. But he probably won’t be, once he finds that I’m missing.”

“Well, you’re missing for a good reason,” Dean says.

“You’re friends,” Daniel repeats matter-of-factly, like this is a concept he still can’t wrap his head around. “But he’s never mentioned you.”

Well, that’s another notch in the stick that Dean is going to beat Cas on the head with.

“What, never?” Dean asks, and for some reason his voice sounds small when it comes back to his ears. “I’m his first real friend in the whole wide world, I’ll have you know. You’d think a guy would remember that.”

Daniel looks at him dubiously. “I doubt it. Castiel has been alive for a very long time.”

Dean thinks about that first year, how he watched Castiel drift close to humanity without really understanding it but wanting to so badly. Dean thinks about Cas making the effort to keep up with Dean, how he’d treated learning about mankind as an upgrade instead of a downgrade. Dean thinks about the many firsts that he gave Cas, again and again and again.

He thinks about how Cas finally learned to choose.

What else has Cas chosen in the five years Dean hasn’t seen him?

“You look sad,” Daniel says suddenly.

“No, I’m not,” Dean replies quickly. He swallows the thickness in his throat, chalking it up to mediocre coffee. “I’m just annoyed that Cas apparently didn’t tell you about how awesome I am.”

Something in Daniel’s face shifts, eyes widening. “What did you say?”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “How awesome I am?”

“Oh,” Daniel breathes. “You.”

Okay, Dean’s throat has tightened, whatever, it’s justifiable, Sam’ll never know. “So Cas has talked about me.”

“Not exactly…” Daniel says carefully. “But sometimes he says things that… I don’t know, they sound weird coming out his mouth… Like he’s using someone else’s words. He always has this funny look on his face when that happens.”

“What kind of look?”

“I don’t know, a funny look,” Daniel says, shrugging. “I guess he might’ve been thinking about you.”

That’s... okay, that’s good to know.

So Cas has thought about him, at least a little.


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