crack_van | Stay In The Kitchen (When The Kitchen Gets Hot), by greatunironic (R)

Fandom: The Losers
Pairing: girl!Jensen/Cougar
Length: 9323
Author on LJ:

greatunironic

Why this must be read:
Tight, snappy, funny, wacky and beyond delightful, Jacobina Jensen is trying to figure out how to cope with her love for Cougar while also being no longer the only girl on the team. Becoming BFFs with Aisha might freak everyone out, but there's shopping to be had, and drives to hack into, and Nazi gold to be drunk. And if Cougar finally sees past the boy-sized cargo pants and borrowed flannel shirts, then it's all good.

And the epilogue is hilarious.

Excerpt:
They’re completely different, the two of them, stuck in a shitty two floor, four bedroom in Shitty Pasadena, the shithole. They’re two-fifths of an elite and misguided mission to destroy some dude called Max, but she’s a hot ass and Jensen an awkward white chick. One of them probably has knives in her hair and the other one forgets she owns a gun. Aisha probably never had to walk through a desert in drag before.

But, fuck, she’s the only close female contact that she has that isn’t nine or post-baby hormonal crazy. It like she’s in Y: The Last Man and she’s Yorick and Aisha’s her Ampersand and it’s all the women who died, not the men. Cougar, of course, is 355. It is so unbelievably sad, she reflects.

Stay in the Kitchen (When the Kitchen Gets Hot)