crack_van | A Distraction of Planetary Proportions by tristesses (NC-17)

Fandom: STAR TREK:REBOOT
Characters/Pairings: Earth/Vulcan
Length: ~6500
Author on LJ:tristesses
Author Website: also at dreamwidth

Why this must be read: Terra does not comport herself as a planet should. She smiles, she laughs, she is overly involved with her humans, and she won't stop touching him. Vulcan should disregard her presence entirely and concentrate on his diplomatic affairs, but she is very....distracting. He does not realize that this is merely the beginning. This is the story of how the anthropomorphic representations of Earth and Vulcan meet for the first time. It is brilliant and charming and smuty, which is a lovely combination.

It is typical for planets to attend initial contacts such as these, so as to subtly interfere with and manipulate the negotiations of their species; they are higher life forms, naturally, and most consider their people to be similar to children: lovable and well-meaning (although adjectives vary depending on the disposition of the planet in question), but ill-equipped to deal with decisions of such magnitude. Therefore, the planets step in. It is a planet's duty to its people (in Vulcan's view, at least) to nudge negotiations in a positive direction.

The negotiations between humans and vuhlkansu are not proceeding as expected. It would be fair to say, in fact, that they are not proceeding at all.

Vulcan is aware that he has only himself to blame for the impasse the delegation has found itself at; were he focused and concentrating on the matter at hand, rather than the - distraction - foremost in his mind, there would no doubt be any problems in the first place.

Upon reconsidering the data, he decides that it is, in fact, Terra's fault for being the distraction. Without her involvement, he would treat this as any other diplomatic mission, and be a productive force active in the vuhlkansu delegation, as opposed to...this. It is, quite frankly, embarrassing; he is certain that T'Khut would laugh at him, were she to hear of his erratic, emotional behavior. Meditation has proven ineffective; still she taunts him, lurking in the back of the meeting hall as she is wont to do, using her celestial talents to go unnoticed by human and vuhlkansu alike. She does not attempt to hide herself from Vulcan, however, and seems to derive great pleasure in trying to make him twitch as he sits with the senior ambassadors and watches the power dynamics at work.

He has, of course, never given in to her teasing. He will not give her that satisfaction.

Vulcan keeps his eyes steadily on his PADD, analyzing and processing the data as the diplomats bicker and argue over minutiae. He can sense Terra's eyes on him, watching him from across the hall. Vulcan glances up, a frown slightly creasing his forehead, preparing to glare at her in an attempt to dissuade her from constantly irritating him, but his gaze snags on the fruit she's lifted to her mouth. More precisely, he finds it difficult to look away from the way she follows the dripping juice with her mouth, curling her tongue around her fingers, licking at her wrist - a most illogical method of cleansing oneself, and she almost certainly has ulterior motives, even if he is not quite certain what those may be. His physiological reaction is interesting, however. Without his acquiescence and despite his control, his arteries have constricted; his core temperature has risen; he finds that he must concentrate on breathing normally; and glands that he does not typically utilize appear to be secreting. Fascinating. And disturbing.

(Vulcan is not an idiot or a fool. He has an inkling of what's going on - a nasty more-than-an-inkling, in fact - and disapproves tremendously. He understands that his people must suffer through such indignities, but for he, as a planet, to do so, is merely embarrassing. Again, he blames Terra wholeheartedly for this unpleasant reaction.)

A Distraction of Planetary Proportions