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crack_van2011-08-13 06:22 pm
rynne.livejournal.com) wrote in crack_van2011-08-13 06:22 pm
Entry tags:
Jim Kirk and the Test of Thirty Days by the_arc5 (NC-17)
Fandom: STAR TREK: REBOOT
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Length: 9,506
Author on LJ:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_arc5
Author Website: at the Kirk/Spock archive
Why this must be read:
I chose this fic because it's funny, but it's not just funny. It's also sweet, and poignant, and I just love the way that Kirk doesn't hesitate to give up something he enjoys for Spock -- it's so true to the way TOS Kirk is, and I always love it when I can see essential similarities between the two Kirks. Still, this is also very much nu!Kirk, because I do think he's very well characterized.
But mostly it's funny. It's framed like a fairy tale, and the author really takes advantage of that frame -- and makes it hilarious. And the ending is awesome.
"Is that so?" the Storyteller murmurs. He gives the girl a light kick to stop the crying; she's starting to hiccup. "What is the story of this true love?"
"Erm," Jim says eloquently. It's not really a story that lends itself to Mralanism. It all started when his planet exploded, I met an old alternate version of him, insulted his dead mom, and then we saved Earth? He assigned himself to my ship and we became friends by accident? There was this confusing period where he broke up with his girlfriend and Bones slapped me for being an idiot and then, somehow, we were having sex? How do you tell a story like that?
"Oh," the girl squeaks, wiping at her face. "Oh, my."
"What is it, my daughter?" the Storyteller asks gently.
"They, um," the girl says, her voice awfully high-pitched. "That's...oh. Does it hurt?"
"What?" say Jim and the Storyteller at the same time.
"That..." she cocks her head, as if listening. "Fucking up the ass?"
"What?" yell Jim and the Storyteller at the same time.
"Oh," the girl continues. "There's sucking, too."
"How are you..." Jim splutters. "What are you..."
"My daughter is an empath," the Storyteller says coldly. "She can see your thoughts."
Puppies, kittens, rainbows, Jim thinks desperately.
"So you like it rough, huh?" the girl says.
"Silence!" the Storyteller roars. Jim wants very, very much to die. For a moment, the hall rings with the echoes of the Storyteller's voice, and it seems Jim may get his wish. The girl pats soothingly at his knee.
"It is love, Father," she says. The Storyteller whirls on Jim.
"We shall see," he says in a tone that just promises impending doom. "I shall restore your love, James Kirk. He shall return with you. But for thirty days, you shall remain as pure as the driven snow. You shall not touch him with your lips, nor use him with your hands. There shall certainly be none of this...ass-fuckery. If you can prove your sincerity in love through this test, we shall forgive your love's slight and you shall go in peace. If you fail, he shall be doomed to remain with us for all of time."
Jim Kirk and the Test of Thirty Days
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Length: 9,506
Author on LJ:
the_arc5Author Website: at the Kirk/Spock archive
Why this must be read:
I chose this fic because it's funny, but it's not just funny. It's also sweet, and poignant, and I just love the way that Kirk doesn't hesitate to give up something he enjoys for Spock -- it's so true to the way TOS Kirk is, and I always love it when I can see essential similarities between the two Kirks. Still, this is also very much nu!Kirk, because I do think he's very well characterized.
But mostly it's funny. It's framed like a fairy tale, and the author really takes advantage of that frame -- and makes it hilarious. And the ending is awesome.
"Is that so?" the Storyteller murmurs. He gives the girl a light kick to stop the crying; she's starting to hiccup. "What is the story of this true love?"
"Erm," Jim says eloquently. It's not really a story that lends itself to Mralanism. It all started when his planet exploded, I met an old alternate version of him, insulted his dead mom, and then we saved Earth? He assigned himself to my ship and we became friends by accident? There was this confusing period where he broke up with his girlfriend and Bones slapped me for being an idiot and then, somehow, we were having sex? How do you tell a story like that?
"Oh," the girl squeaks, wiping at her face. "Oh, my."
"What is it, my daughter?" the Storyteller asks gently.
"They, um," the girl says, her voice awfully high-pitched. "That's...oh. Does it hurt?"
"What?" say Jim and the Storyteller at the same time.
"That..." she cocks her head, as if listening. "Fucking up the ass?"
"What?" yell Jim and the Storyteller at the same time.
"Oh," the girl continues. "There's sucking, too."
"How are you..." Jim splutters. "What are you..."
"My daughter is an empath," the Storyteller says coldly. "She can see your thoughts."
Puppies, kittens, rainbows, Jim thinks desperately.
"So you like it rough, huh?" the girl says.
"Silence!" the Storyteller roars. Jim wants very, very much to die. For a moment, the hall rings with the echoes of the Storyteller's voice, and it seems Jim may get his wish. The girl pats soothingly at his knee.
"It is love, Father," she says. The Storyteller whirls on Jim.
"We shall see," he says in a tone that just promises impending doom. "I shall restore your love, James Kirk. He shall return with you. But for thirty days, you shall remain as pure as the driven snow. You shall not touch him with your lips, nor use him with your hands. There shall certainly be none of this...ass-fuckery. If you can prove your sincerity in love through this test, we shall forgive your love's slight and you shall go in peace. If you fail, he shall be doomed to remain with us for all of time."
Jim Kirk and the Test of Thirty Days