crack_van | 'A Little Madness In The Spring' by _

Fandom: HIPSTER RPF
Pairing/Characters: gen. PJ Ransone, Chloë Sevigny, Stark Sands, Alexander Skarsgård, Stellan Skarsgård, Paul Betteny, Jude Law, and Johnny Depp.
Length: 5,500+ words
Author on LJ:

__sine
Author Website: masterlist on LJ
Why this must be read: Two words. Chloë Sevigny. Or if the human hipster trump card isn't enough to sway you, what if I tell you that this is perhaps the most eccentric zombie fic I have had the pleasure of reading? It's set in post apocalyptic England which is overrun with the undead and where, through the intervention of Paul, PJ and Chloë are recruitment into a local zombie killing franchise. Together they find themselves teaming up with Stark and Alexander who once thought they were the same person, Paul whose world revolves around tea, and rivals with Jude Law who has a Swiss on his team and is thus luckier than PJ and Chloë's team.

There is something so off kilter about all of the characters and the way they interact with each other and the world around them. The rather gruesome reality of their situation isn't ignored, but

__sine employs black humour in a wonderfully batty and sharp way, making this one very rollicking read.

This fic is part of a wider zombie 'verse called the

plague_project (which is also excellent) created by

laiqualaurelote. I would highly recommend you take the time to check it out also.

The phrase Bettany uses to describe Skarsgard and Sands is "slightly batty", but after three days in the same wing of the house as the two of them, PJ is quite ready to amend it to, "rather fucking demented".

"That's apt, too," Bettany agrees, peering at PJ over his newspaper. Now that there isn't an active zombie threat, Bettany has become suprisingly sedentary, spending most of his time in an armchair with a cup of tea on the side table. PJ has only seen him get up twice since their arrival at the house, apart from visits to the bathroom or when he's shuffling off to bed - the first time was to get another teabag and the second was to swat Skarsgard with a newspaper for standing in front of the television.

"Where did you even find these guys?" PJ demands. "I mean, Skarsgard has a diagram of a 2015 Pulser tattooed on his lower back."

"You have tattoos too," says Bettany mildly. Before PJ can protest about how his tattoos look miles better, he adds, "I'd say Alex's are rather more useful."

The house is constantly noisy - the stairs creak and the doors make a hollow thunking sound no matter how carefully they try to shut them. When Chloe isn't in the basement shooting things, the others are watching videotapes of old Swedish soccer matches on the small television screen in the sitting room. The Pulsers are perpetually switched on, surrounding them with a cacophony of metallic grumbling.

Skarsgard and Sands appear to have no concept of personal space. Some mornings, PJ finishes pissing in the toilet bowl only to turn around and see Skarsgard brushing his teeth at the sink and Sands getting ready to take a shower. He has no idea what Skarsgard used to do but Sands used to be an actor - he has a lovely singing voice that nevertheless puts PJ on edge every time he climbs cheerfully into the bathtub together with PJ.

At points, PJ is convinced that they're winding him up intentionally - if Bettany were the one doing it that would certainly be the case - but there's something hopelessly sincere about what they're doing; as if it's a silent, silly ritual of welcoming him into the fold. Skarsgard could pat PJ on the back and say, "You're a hunter now, like us," but he doesn't. Instead, he stands in the mirror and compares PJ's no dice tattoos with his Pulser diagram and later steals most of his cornflakes at breakfast. They revel in the ridiculousness of the fact that they are alive, alive and whole and kind of very badass when they're actually hunting some zombies.

A Little Madness In The Spring

'A Little Madness In The Spring' by __sine. (pg-13)