crack_van | Up Or Artistic Lush, by Speranza (Explicit)

Fandom: SHERLOCK BBC
Characters: Sherlock/John
Length: 8223 words
Author on LJ: cesperanza
Author Website: Speranza's Fiction
Why you should read this:
Brilliant dialogue, entertaining wordplay. Far too many puns about hands (but puns are always too much). Also adventure, also blood, also UST, also sex by surrogate, Molly's wayward but sensible brother inna sex club, crackling Sherlock-Mycroft animosity, crosswords, pickle, and rather nice John.

"Speaking of which," he said, turning to Sherlock, "her Majesty's Ambassador to the Italian Republic--"

Sherlock said savagely, "I didn't do it for the nation."

"--wishes me to thank you for--" Mycroft continued serenely.

"Or for you. I did it because it was interesting." Sherlock drained his glass and poured another.

"Yes, Sherlock," Mycroft agreed. "We know. Luckily for Italy, your interest and its interests were momentarily aligned. In consequence of which her Majesty's Ambassador has asked me to present you with--"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Sherlock said, and let his head fall. "I've told you: I'm not interested in service or rewards or even in positive outcomes: a keen observer can find answers, but no one can predict a positive outcome unless they're a fraud or in the government--or was that redundant? I am completely uninterested in your network of mediocre dignitaries with their little favours and pats on the back and service certificates and 'would you please find Timothy a place in the foreign service?' I loathe them; I despise them; and you, most days. And her Majesty's Ambassador to the Republic of Italy in particular can go fuck himself."

"--this paperweight in the shape of a gondola," Mycroft said, producing it. "I think it would look very nice over there, by the bookcase."

***

Up Or Artistic Lush

Up Or Artistic Lush, by Speranza (Explicit)

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