crack_van | Rant by LM Griffin (Mostly PG, last section R)

Fandom: POTC
Pairing: Norrington/Gillette
Author on LJ:

commodoresexual
Author Website: Is (currently?) down; her other fics can be found here, here and here.
Why this must be read:

Because it was written by Wren! Really, that's all you need to know. I haven't disliked anything I've read by her.
...What, you want a better summary than that? Well, fair enough. 'Rant' takes its name from Gillette's habit of ranting (often in French, which is fun for those of us qui parle le francais) at Norrington when he worries Gillette. What he would *like* to be in the habit of is kissing Norrington, but unfortunately he has never worked up the courage to reveal his true feelings, despite Bush's encouragement. Enter Lady Susan, a predatory woman who has set her sights on Norrington. Gillette and Bush are suspicious, and take it upon themselves to protect Norrington. Norrington, however, is not particularly interested in Lady Susan, as he has recently discovered that his heart is already taken...

Note: This was written before Wren learnt that Groves' name *was* Groves; therefore she called him Bush.

Elizabeth dragged [Bush and Gillette] to the fine line of windows looking out into the bay, and out through one set of doors to the long and shadowy balcony just outside. She turned towards them, her eyes bright and eager. "All right, what's our plan for getting rid of her Ladyship?"

Bush and Gillette blinked at each other, then back at her. She stared at them for a moment, and then threw up her hands. "Do you mean we don't have a plan?"

"Well, it's not exactly something one comes up with on a whim, Miss Swann," Gillette said brusquely.

"You'll need rope."

"...Rope is never admiss in any plan," Bush said thoughtfully. "But what would we do to with the rope?"

"Attatch it to a grapple, o'course."

"Well, what in the world would we need a grapple for?" Gillette argued, looking at both them with a frown.

"How else will y'be able t'carry up the treacle tart, mate?"

"Now why would we need a..." Elizabeth trailed off, her eyes widening to the size of plates as she stared into the gloom behind her.

Gillette and Bush turned to where her eyes were fixed, and Bush let out a surprised, "Captain!"

Elizabeth finally found the words, and she stomped her foot with sudden anger. "JACK!"

"Sparrow," Gillette growled, his hands forming fists readily enough.

Captain Jack Sparrow leaned away from the balcony's edge, golden smile glittering in the soft candlelight thrown from the ballroom, and bowed decorously at the three co-conspirators. "At your service."

The first part, Chapter 1 - Rant, can be found here; follow the links at the bottom to the next part. It's five parts and an epilogue in total.