crack_van | The Secret Identity of John Watson by Scifigrl47 (gen)

Fandom: SHERLOCK BBC
Pairing: John Watson/OFC
Length: 27714 words
Author on LJ: unknown
Author Website: AO3, FF.net
Why this must be read:

Sam's friends say she needs to find "some perfectly ordinary bloke" to date.

John Watson seems nice and normal. So why do strange, and sometimes dangerous, things keep happening when she's with him? Why do people keep warning her off him with mysterious innuendos? Samantha's friends think he must be a spy. Or maybe a mobster. And who is his creepy, dark-haired stalker? Still, he does seem awfully nice. And it's interesting. And sort of exciting.

First of all, this Samantha Carter is not that Samantha Carter. A half point off for lack of originality. Which leaves 99.5 points for thrills, chills, right-on characterizations, a real plot, laugh-out-loud funny, and all round adorableness. Plus snarky commentary from Sam's gal pals.

Dating John Watson might actually turn out much like this. Not to mention the characters who are still holding out for gay porn ;-)

Sam glanced at her screen. "So I see. You've only been with us for a couple of weeks. Thank you for bringing your business to us, Mr-" She glanced at the cheque and corrected herself. "I'm sorry, Dr. Watson. We'll do our best to deserve it." It was nice that he hadn't immediately jumped down her throat when she'd called him Mister as opposed to Doctor. That happened often enough that some of the regulars had a note on their accounts now with a reminder. John Watson didn't even seem to notice.

He gave her a slight smile. "My last bank kind of mixed up my deposits with my withdrawals and started paying my employer. Which I prefer not to do, the job's not that good."

Sam laughed out loud, something about the warmth in his eyes, as well as the utterly calm way he said it, like it as no big deal, even though she was sure it had been a very big deal indeed. "I understand fully. Don't worry, we have a very strict 'we like money' policy here. No letting it out of the accounts unless we're forced to do so." With a grin, she handed him the receipt.

"I appreciate your assistance in keeping my money with, well, you, and in retrospect, this is not going to work out well for me, is it?" John asked, picking it up with a nod and a smile. "Nice meeting you, miss."

She wasn't sure why she did it, she was usually firm in her 'don't hit on the customers' rule, because if she screwed that up, well, it was pretty awkward when she had to turn them down for an auto loan. But he seemed so grounded, so ordinary, so, well, nice, and she could hear Caro and Margaret in her head, mocking her taste in men and what the hell, she could try, couldn't she, no, she probably shouldn't.

"Nice meeting you, too." And Sam gave him her card. "Samantha Carter. I'm usually the loan officer, but we're short handed today."

He took it, only a flicker of his eyes giving away any surprise. "So, you're not usually out here?"

"Sadly, no." She checked, but by some miracle, there was no line, so she could flirt a little bit longer without ending up on the death end of Laurie's glare.

He paused, considering. "All right, good, because then I can ask you if you'd like to get a cup of coffee sometime, because if you say no, I can just avoid your office."

"What if I say yes?" Sam asked with a grin.

"Well, if things go well, I'll hit you up for a loan, and if it goes badly? I'll just keep an eye on my checking balance," he said, after a moment of thought. "So you'll be instilling good financial habits, either way."

Sam couldn't hold back a laugh. "No coffee," she said, with a grin. "Dinner?"

The Secret Identity of John Watson