Fandom: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN
Pairing: Elizabeth/Jack
Author on LJ: malisita
Author Website: A Thousand Suns
Why this must be read: I promised you het, didn't I?

"Her bosom does NOT heave. And 'bosom'...there's a horrid word if there ever was one. 'Bosoms', in itself, implies that she has four. And she has to peek down the bodice of her threadbare garment just to check."

Jack-and-Elizabeth-on-the-island stories are practically a subgenre on their own. Most of them consist of lots of sex and Rum and one or both of them ashamed and/or pining afterwards. This one, by contrast, actually has the real Jack and Elizabeth in it. In fact, I'm firmly convinced that it is what really happened on the island. It's hilariously funny and extremely sexy, just like Jack and Elizabeth are together. And the sex is, for once, both hot and realistic.

There's also a good sequelly thing-- The Sparrow, the Bitch, and the Wardrobe (R) -- but I personally think the first two parts stand better on their own.

Twinkle and Twirl.

Fandom: EVERWOOD
Pairing: Bright/Colin, Colin/Amy
Author on LJ: allcanadiangirl
Author Website: and chimeras

Why this must be read: This is a beautifully painful Bright introspective about the triangle he finds himself in with Colin and Amy. We see the events unfold in haunting vignettes, as Bright tries to deal with his part in the accident. This is complicated by his feelings for Colin and his guilt over Amy.

It's surely a given that when you find allusions to Hamlet, you have an inkling that it's going to end bad. It's heart-breaking to see Bright's naivete as he unwittingly "casts" Colin, Amy and himself as characters from the play. Because it's almost as if he cursed them by doing so, as they begin to fulfill their respective roles perfectly: the tragic prince, the grief-crazed girlfriend, and her brother who kills royalty.

Whilst This Machine

This story is part of an ongoing series but it works well as a stand-alone. If you want to read what happens next, the sequel is My Heart's Core.

Fandom: HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS
Pairing: n/a
Author on LJ: n/a
Author Website: Ceredwyn's Page on the Iolausian Library
Why this must be read: I think the fantasy and sword and sorcery elements are an essential part of the H:tLJ world, and I've always been partial to stories that reflect that. "Soul Stone" is a beautifully written fantasy, and I feel it works on that level whether you have a clue who Hercules and Iolaus are or not. Add in the fun of fanfic and buff guys with swords, and it's just icing on the cake.

As a favor to Asclepius, Hercules and Iolaus are asked to save the life of an old woman, a healer from a foreign land who has been in danger most of her life. This is nothing unusual, except that the woman seems to know Iolaus, though he is sure he's never seen her before. Saying anything more about it would spoil the story, but there's an evil sorcerer, and a dark tower, and nothing is as it seems.


Soul Stone

Fandom: MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.
Pairing: none. Napoleon dates, much like canon.
Author on LJ: not as yet
Author Website: File 40 have given her a place to call home: http://file40.net/file40g/lo_ro_stories.html
Why this must be read:
It captures the light-hearted mood of the show perfectly. If you're a die-hard slasher, please do NOT be put off by the idea of Napoleon being with other women. The scenario is played for laughs, not angst. Even though Napoleon and Illya are apart for most of the story, their frequent interchanges via communicator sparkle with wit.

The set-up: a comparison of how Napoleon and Illya spend one Valentine's Day. It's very much gen, so the guys spend most of the tale apart with other people. Illya starts matchmaking old friends, inspired by a comment Napoleon makes about a life without love. Across town, Napoleon Solo, devil-may-care ladies' man, sends a series of distress calls:

"...Listen, this is what you're going to do. First, get dressed. Casual is okay if it's elegant casual. Say black jeans and a turtleneck with a sports coat over it. Then, you're going to stop by a florist and pick up some roses and meet me at the Top of the World Club at eight o'clock sharp. Right?"

"I'm sorry, Napoleon," Illya said, "but you're not my type."

"Very funny," Solo growled. "I go to the trouble to set you up with a perfect dream girl and you stand there making smart remarks. Come on, boy! Time's a'wasting. Hut! Hut! Hut!"

"Napoleon, I already told you I have plans tonight."

"Plans?" Solo sounded distinctly disgruntled. "You never told me you had plans! You said you were going to go to bed and go to sleep!"

"Right. I plan to go to bed and I plan to go to sleep: ergo, I have plans. I'm sure the young lady – if she is a young lady – will understand. Just admit to her that you failed to consult me first."

There was a long silence. "It's not that simple," Solo said at last, reluctantly.

"Ah."

Illya Kuryakin knew Napoleon Solo better than any man alive. Across town, connected to him by only the radio link, Solo could see the wheels turning behind those shrewd blue eyes.

"Have you, perhaps, over-extended yourself?" The light Russian voice was laced with humor.

Napoleon sighed. "Yes," he admitted reluctantly, "I seem to have made dates with two women on the same night. And in the same restaurant, no less."

I usually find Napoleon's serial dating tiresome in canon, but there is an incorrigible charm in his portrayal here that won me over. It is impossible to be irritated with someone so shameless and good-humoured about his romantic escapades. As for Illya, his wit is intact, along with the detached coolness. He's a romantic too, but much more subtle about it.

The Love Affair

Fandom: HARD CORE LOGO
Pairing: Joe/Billy
Genre: Slash
Author on LJ: earthmagik

Why this must be read:

In keeping with my plan to suck everyone into this fandom by giving you every variety of fanfic, today I give you a vignette, set after the movie, described by Cee as a character study. It's short, it's spare, and it's beautifully written.

Gotta bleed for your art, right? Isn't that what (Joe) he always said?

Still says, in his way, and that's the magic moment. He hears it, and he plays, lets the blood run all over the strings. When he gets to the end, he knows it's the end. Three simple, elegant verses, with a bloody, ripped up chorus. The second time he goes through it he hums the shapes of the words, 'cause he can't actually sing them. They aren't his to sing. The band always wonders why his contributions are instrumentals, chalk it up to guitarist's ego. They don't get that it's not a solo act, never was, never will be, even now.

reduction

Fandom: FARSCAPE
Pairing: None
Author on LJ: eve11
Author Website: Archived at Leviathan

Why this must be read: One of the best things about Farscape is the wide range of fascinating minor characters presented on a regular basis. Unfortunately, they're all too often left behind in fanfiction. 'All the Comforts' is one of the exceptions to this rule, and it's absolutely gorgeous. Eve11 lets us into the head of Sub-Officer Dacon from '...Different Destinations' for a few brief minutes in the lead-up to his death, and gives him a life beyond that which we see.

'...Different Destinations' deals close up with the so-called "collateral damage" that Moya's crew have caused over the years; and this story fits in perfectly, highlighting the destruction of innocent lives that conflict can bring.

All the Comforts


*

On another note, a quick introduction: I'm Apathy, and I'll be your Farscape dealer for this month. I'm one of about five people in the fandom who don't like John/Aeryn, so if you're expecting a month of nothing but J/A romance, then you'll probably be disappointed. (But hey, stick around -- you never know, you might find something else you like. *g*)

What do I like in a fic? Darkness, humour, slash, futurefic, and character studies. Obviously, I also like stories that deal with lesser-written characters. Hopefully, this month's recs will provide a good mix of story types and characters -- although I must warn you that I have a short attention span, and so most of the stories I'll be reccing are fairly short.

Anyway, sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Fandom: EVERWOOD
Pairing: Ephram/Amy implication
Author on LJ: behrbemine
Author Website: BehrBeMine.Com
Why this must be read:

This was the first fanfic I ever read by this author, and her fanfics after this were just as amazingly good (Yes, that is a plug!). She has such an amazing way of writing Ephram and the angst to his voice... Her stories make you feel, and that is such an awesome thing an author can do in this fandom. Its so hard to get the emotion of Ephram with Andy just right, and that is what she does, especially since this fic was written waaay early on in Season One. She really makes you think about it. The only bad thing is that it is so short, but the fic makes way up for it.

Nothing here for Ephram but more of the familiar disappointment that's always been associated with his father. He lets his dad's promises fly right over his head. He closes his eyes to the fatherly looks of reassurance, closes his ears to the words that are always a lie.

He watches his sister grow to adore her father more and more every day. Feels his stomach clench to see the two members of his family acting as if they've always been close.

He lets the promises melt away into the emptiness they resemble and remembers that they'll never come true.


Daddy's Promises

Fandom: STARSKY AND HUTCH
Pairing: Starsky/Hutch
Author on LJ: Unknown
Author Website: I found her at the Me and Thee Archive.

Why this must be read:

Well, I'm off for a long weekend, so I'm leaving you with a nice tale to hold you until I get back.

Parking by Lilith Faire was the first Starsky/Hutch I ever read. It made me laugh, and blush, too (hey, I said I was new to S&H!), so I thought I'd share.


Starsky's been doing a bit of thinking:

Have you ever noticed how sometimes the most innocent conversations can suddenly turn interesting?


Bored and restless on a stakeout, Starksy decides to travel back to the days when necking in the backseat was the thing to do. Ever curious about Hutch's background, Starsky tries to coax him into telling about the first time he went "parking" with a girl.

Hutch won't talk, being a well-raised "don't kiss and tell" sort of guy. This leaves HotPants!Starsky to break the ice with his tale of touching a girl "outside her sweater" at Lookout Point, but to his surprise, Hutch isn't in the mood to hear the gory details.

Why not?

Well, to his everlasting shame and embarrassment, poor Hutch has never been parking. You know, getting busy in the backseat, steaming up the windows, testing the shocks, etc. Wow.

In this Universe, it seems Hutch was a bit of a dork in high school (he took his sister to the prom), and didn't really blossom until college. God knows Vanessa (rest her soul) was hardly the type to let someone feel her up in the backseat of the old Chevy, a point Starsky agrees with wholeheartedly. (Silly her... Blondie could feel me up in the backseat of a hearse if he wanted to...but I digress) Alas, our sweet Hutch is basically a backseat virgin.

Of course, Starsky is intrigued:

Have you ever noticed how sometimes you can look at a person and suddenly see someone totally different?

Well, let me tell you, I suddenly saw a whole different side of one Kenneth Hutchinson. It just didn't seem right that the poor boy had been deprived of a traditional rite of passage. It became crystal clear to me that I would have to do something about this gross injustice.

So, in typical Starsky fashion, he sets out to right a wrong. He'll just get him a date. Right?

Wrong.

Poor Starsky:

But if I was going to be perfectly honest with myself, I *sure* as hell didn't want to set him up on a date with a woman in order for him to experience back seat Nirvana.

Of course you don't, dear. And yes, it's seduction time, folks.

What follows is a sweet, hot, funny story with just the right touch of playful banter and realism (witness the classic "parking" mishap scene) that made me wish this was an actual episode. Or maybe that was my slashy mind at work again, lobbying for The Slash Channel. (Slashy TV shows viewed by slashers ala MST3K). Lilith Faire deserves an Fanfiction Emmy nomination for this one.


Parking by Lilith
Pavlov's Response the sequel
Playing It to the Edge is the end

Fandom: HARRY POTTER
Pairing: Harry/Draco, Draco/animal (yah!)
Author on LJ: julad and ukcalico
Author Website: ambivalent pleasures Calico's Lair
Why this must be read: So. Yeah. I just really love this story. It's one of those I think of sometimes randomly for no good reason, and I think "Pomegranate!" How I wish I had one. (Read it, and you'll learn why I mentally regress to about age 10.)

These two are both clever and witty and tight in their style. The Draco here is hysterically spoiled, my favorite. Harry uses his Parselmouth abilities, and that NEVER gets old, does it?

Lustre