Title: Xena; or, The Warrior Princess, by Kevin Wald
Pairing: none
Author on LJ: unknown
Author Website: Kevin Wald
Why this must be read:

There's really no way to describe this. It's one of the main reasons I wanted to recommend
Xena stories this month (and why I waited in line for a year!), only to miss cross-over day. Can I get credit by saying that yesterday was also my birthday? Anyway, this is one of the most amazing, and funniest, pieces of fan fiction I've ever read. Technically it's a filk, which is a song whose lyrics have been redone by a fan. For anyone who likes Gilbert & Sullivan Operettas, or even who's seen one once, you'll find this hilarious. It's to the tune of a famous song from "Pirates of Penzance", and not only does it scan perfectly (i.e. the words line up EXACTLY to the music, which is a feat in and of itself), but it's completely in keeping with the style of Xena, right down to the sly asides (subtext!) and stage directions. It even has footnotes, and is amazingly erudite! The rhymes are just amazing, too.

A brief quote:
"But though the kinked chronology, confusing and chimerical
(It's often unhistorical, but rarely unhysterical),
Would give a massive heart attack to any antiquarian,
I am the very model of a heroine barbarian!"

Any fan of Xena, or G&S, or both, who hasn't seen this is in for a treat. I dare you to try to read this without at least singing it in your head, if not out loud. Enjoy!

Plain Version: Xena; or, The Warrior Princess or Heroine Barbarian which has a sound file link in case you can't remember the tune.